I’ve got a chapter to write and it’s going nowhere fast.

I hate it when I think I have all the time in the world to complete a writing task and then I procrastinate.

I know I procrastinate because it’s important to me. Very important to me and I don’t want to get it wrong. So I do nothing instead.

Well not really nothing. This is my bedroom wall, where I’ve started to put up post-it notes to help me with the chapter on fugitivity.

This makes me feel as if I’m doing something. Seeing this everyday also, I hope, makes something go into my creative brain subconsciously. I’m hoping that living with it makes the wheels start turning and connections being made.

What I’m learning with fugitivity is that is’s not linear. Not a straight line from captivity to freedom, from unfreedom to freedom. It is argued that fugitivity performs freedom ‘as a constant struggle’ ( R. Slavitt cited in Davis, 2016).

This I hold close as I attempt ( struggle!) to write this chapter around fugitivity as this is not going to be a linear chapter from A to B to C etc. This chapter with its content and structure and form will be dancing with unfreedom and freedom, constantly struggling to convey meaning around fugitivity at the same time as remaining free from the academic frameworks and restricts and expectations.

In order to write about fugitivity I need to take on board fugitive methods and practices.

I’m spiralling and circling back and forth in a good way, in an honest way and hopefully the chapter will be the result.