Mapping Black Madonna – The Pivot

Our Lady of Montserrat La Moreneta (Catalan: the Dear Dark One)

I remember a time, after I’d said I was leaving, I’d taken my daughter on a break. We hired a campervan and travelled around the north -east coast. Still covid, still a pandemic. Summer relaxing of restrictions. Eat Out For Summer, something like that. The van kept breaking down for one reason or another.

We booked into a hotel for one night, and I got a phone call from a potential funder. Offering support to apply for emergency funding to help the organisation I was working for as project coordinator to be able to pivot. Still over the nature connection we’d been offering but through nature immersion online.

This person, who called out of the blue, helped me secure the bag. Helped me secure the funding, so I could continue to run nature connection events for others, during these difficult times, but also continue to be paid.

One of the reasons I thought I couldn’t leave my marriage before was because of finances. We lived pay cheque to pay cheque. I didn’t have the resources to move out and find a place of my own.

To me this was a miracle. This was a lifeline. This made this dream of leaving come through.

The Wind and Rain

As the north-east is gripped in another cold snap, with wind and rain, in May, I’m desiring a return. A return to Faro, Portugal, where in March, I enjoyed a few days of warmth, relaxation and inspiration.

Cloud Watching in Faro, Portugal

Things are definitely looking up when I give myself the time and space to look to the sky.

Spending time cloud watching is always a good indication to/ for myself that I’m slowing down, that I’m breathing that little bit deeper, than I’m present.

When clouds go missing from my radar, from my daily view then it’s time to worry.

As it’s another indication that I’m not taking my medicine, that I’m allowing the shit of this world to overtake me, to bog me down.

Cloud watching, cloud appreciation is such a simple task, gift to myself and yet the loss of it, can mean the loss of self.

gathering tiles

I booked up on a whim. Last minute. I needed to get away. I needed to have some sun after months of rain.

When I jetted off in March we’d had rain everyday of the year so far in 2026.

I gave myself a few days in Faro, Portugal. My soul thanked me for it too.

Cheap holiday, with a balcony off my room and the sun just there was needed. And appreciated. The warmth helped me relax and unfold, slow down and appreciate the basic things like good food and wine. And a view.

What I found there was inspiration in the smallest and basic of places.

Their tiles. Inside and outside of their buildings. I made a collection of them. Here’s only a few.

More about my time away to follow.

An Archives of Memories, Feelings and Skyr

This is one of my favourite images from my extensive collection.

I know exactly when and where it was taken. Westfjords Residency, Iceland, Feb/March 2017.

This was my go to breakfast. Coffee, cornflakes and Skyr, Icelandic protein enriched yogurt. I love the colours, the composition. The items included. But most of all, I love the memories and feelings just looking at this image evokes.

It takes me back to that time of wonder and discovery during my second time to Iceland. A residency I gifted to myself, writing the application while teaching temporally; frustrated, longing to get out and create.

I stayed for two weeks in the shadows of the mountains, knee deep in snow most days until the thaw came with some greening of the landscape.

I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing there back then. I just knew in my body that I needed to get away, gain inspiration from the landscape and {BE}.

I might not have completed much when I was out there, but I know when I returned the experience shifted my creativity and how I saw myself as a creative.

I saw glimmers of the Northern Lights during this retreat. Pale creamy wisps and trails in a dark navy sky. It was magical and a mystery.

This makes me think about my art-making practice and how most of the time I’m working in the dark, moving out of my comfort zone into the unknown, looking and listening hoping to catch a glimpses of magic and mystery in the process.

What’s created on the page, like this photography, is an archive, a record which when looked upon brings to the surface all the memories and feelings of the process, the experience once again experienced to the full with wonder and a smile.

Drawing in nature

I’ve been meaning to share this before now.

It’s a process journal I created for my last trip up to Glencoe.

I sat outside Kiwi, all wrapped up in blankets, and just drew what I saw.

It was another way of capturing to memory and heart my favourite mountain – Etive.

I used a graphite chubby pencil and an ink wash and just played.

I filled the whole journal bar two spreads towards the end there.

It was so much fun. I plan to return and do it again.

No mission. No pressure. No product to sell. No expectations.

Just mindless play. More.