I’ve been writing. After making the decision to finish 2022 out strong through writing every day for the final 100 days of the year, I’ve been turning up for the writing. And just that.
But what does that mean in practice?
For me turning up to the page daily, putting pen to paper, focusing on the practice of writing means I get out of my own way. It means, I’m practicing leaving my anxieties and worries about the writing, the book, the finished piece to the side. I’m not allowing these thoughts and feelings of success or failure to take up space in my head and heart. I’m done with allowing this to sap my energies and stand in the way of the words coming out.
I know I said I want this Mixmoir to be the platform from which I launched my credentials as an expert in Black Nature. And I wasn’t lying and it’s still my desire. But I’m forgetting that, allowing my ego to fall at the wayside as I step onto this path of turning up to write for the sake of writing.
I’m writing. I’m a writer because each day I put words on the page. The words which want to flow out at this moment. Just as these words are flowing out of me now for this blog post. I have no agenda, no word limits to hit, no structured piece to complete. No external goals as such. The goal has been met by just turning up and being open and listening.
Just switching things around, or is it prioritising the writing, the practice of writing instead of the output, product, outcome, makes this happen. Makes it sacred, makes it here, makes it real.
Instead of wasting time and energy on the what ifs, I’m channeling that time and energy into the writing, the practice, the process. And this makes me feel so much better, happier.
I just turn up and continue to be open, letting the words flow onto the page; desireless for perfection, formless in terms of structure or containment and trusting in that everything is connected.
I like this feeling. In fact, I love this feeling. This freedom on the page as it means I keep turning up as I want to continue to feel this way about my practice. I also know things change, things are impermanent. So I don’t want to force the issue as that would be leaning back into my ego. But it’s this realisation that I don’t need any external validation or material success to write. I just do it. Write.