Playing with my stabilo woodies!

I went straight into the fun today in one of my creative sketchbooks.

And it all came from a colour. A colour I created when prepping my pages for my visual journaling practice this morning.

Lemon yellow and sap green came together on the page to create a golden green colour that I wanted to explore more.

So I smeared it into my creative sketchbook and went from there. I’d seen Enas Satir’s Daloka- Girls’- songs pottery series and they made me smile.

Their facial expressions and just the black and white starkness of them.

So I took a smile and nose from there to create this piece which when I look at it, makes me smile.

Hey I’m all for sharing smiles, with those who see me and smile back!

just mercy

I love me a great film.

A film where black people are centred.

A film where injustice is tackled head on and over time is recognise and overturned.

Just Mercy, a film starring Michael B Jordan and Jamie Foxx, co-written and directed by Destin Daniel Cretton, is one such film.

I return to this film , which is a true story about the wrongful incarceration of Walter McMillan and how Bryan Stevenson worked tirelessly for his release, a lot when I want to feel hope. When I want to feel that all is not lost and that there is another way, or option. There’s always something else/other/more we can do/say{BE}.

The point is, not to give up. To not lose hope. To not lose love.

This extract from the script is a prison scene when Jamie Foxx playing Walter McMillan, on death row for a murder he didn’t commit, is trying to calm down his friend Herbert Richardson played by Rob Morgan whose execution is the very next day.

Look at them pine trees that been growin’ since way before we was born, and gonna keep on growin’ way after we gone. They been through all the same shit we been through and more, but they still dancing in the breeze.”

This part stays with me. This right here is what sticks to my bones. That wisdom from nature. That guidance from nature.

Even while going through shit, and going through shit from time, they still be dancing.

Yes, to this. Yes to still living through it all on our own terms, in our own ways. and experiencing/ creating/holding on to the joy.

Come won’t you dance with me x

They want this heaviness to snuff our light out

As an artist, I feel everything. I feel what everyone else is feeling.

This heaviness is manufactured to snuff my light out. To destroy my hope.

As an artist I’m here to create hope. As an artist, I create pockets of hope. Safe spaces where we can create alternative worlds.

Safe spaces where we can be free, if only for a little while.

I’ve been forgetting my task. My service. I’ve been struggling under the heaviness of it all.

Do you feel it too? That heaviness?

I’ve been forgetting to take my medicine. That’s what artists can bring to the world. Moments of medicine.

Here feast on this image. Take a moment here, in this safe space, let down this heaviness. Breathe.

We be good, together.

107 Days

For my birthday, my beautiful and talented daughter gave me 107 Days by Kamala Harris. I might have dropped some hints beforehand but boy was I pleased to receive this gift.

As soon as I heard Harris had published a memoir all about her run for the President of the United Stated of America, I knew I had to read it.

During that remarkable time from 21 July 2024 to the election 5 November, when Harris was propelled into the run for office, given such a historically short time for campaigning, I was hooked.

Hooked into hope. Having a black/ brown woman as president of the United States wouldn’t just be radical and amazing it would change the world. Harris would change the world, not just through what she stood for in terms of policies, but more importantly what message her face in the White House would say about us to the world. Thanks once again to a black woman stepping up, caring and making changes not for egotistical, selfish gains but for the benefit of all

I’ve always been in conflict with Black Feminism, in that reality that black women receive the worst treatment from everyone within society and yet we go to bat, stand up and fight for everybody’s freedom. We lead from a foundation of love while at the same time surviving and thriving within a world that does not give that same love in return.

We are destroyed on the daily and yet we still love ourselves and each other. That is what we have to do, love ourselves in the face of being unloved by others.

So here I am reading 107 days, feeling as if Harris is talking directly to me because of her writing style and because I’ve watched far too many of her speeches and interviews to hear her voice while I’m reading, I’m taken back to that time of campaigning and I’m crying when I’m reading.

I’m crying for what Harris had to go through during this time and after. The behind the scenes undermining and neglect, to the public abuse and questioning of her credentials, intelligence and race, by her opponents as well as those who were supposed to be her supporters.

How there’s nothing more revealing of what is within a person’s heart as when a black/ brown woman walks into a room and what that individual says or does in response. Do they see the black/brown woman? Do they recognise them for who they are/ as a human being or do they operate through a stereotypical, misogynoir lens?

I’m crying because during those 107 days, I bought into the whole Harris campaign. I had to. No choice. I knew that to get a black/brown woman elected as President was a long shot, was believing in unicorns, was hopeful, blissful dreaming for groundbreaking change.

And I was all in. I had to be. I had to believe it was possible otherwise what’s the fucking point! what would that be saying about how I viewed myself and my place in this world?

I’m crying now not just because of all those hopes and possibilities being dashed when Harris didn’t win. But also because of what the world is like now because she didn’t win and the dick for an arse who is now in control of the White House and what a fucking mess he’s making of the job, the country, the world. how many people he’s hurting and killing because he didn’t give a fuck. Because he doesn’t and never will care. Harris cared and cares.

I’m crying because my heart was broken then when Harris didn’t win and it’s breaking now as I read how Harris was graceful and joyful in her appearances and actions during the campaign while dealing with racist, sexist shit behind the scenes.

Harris was used just like any other black/brown woman, brought in to repair and save the day, without given the proper support or time or resources to do so. But expectations were and still are there to excel beyond anyone/ everyone else while given less than in terms of resources, grace, the benefit of the doubt.

What Harris achieved in 107 days was remarkable and historical and downright amazing. But does she receive her rightful credit and accolades? Not a fucking chance.

I’m crying because I still have hope in the face of such shit. I’m hurting with hope.

Hope is a practicing and we have to keep practicing.

Not quite ready yet

I’ve been receiving emails from newsletters that I subscribe to detailing end of year round ups and reflections. And I’m not sure I’m ready yet to step into that energy. I’m still living the year in front of me now – day by day. To let me just linger in the moments. Linger in the awareness of time passing. Winter’s here and the geese are getting fat an all that. But even in these times of worry, brutality and violence, let us to a moment to breathe and give thanks.

I’m hopeful …

Now I think people are listening.

With the rise of Veganism for the sake of the environment, people taking notice of Extinction Rebellion Protests, and yet another damning UN report, there is no doubt that we, human beings as a species, are decimating all the other species on this planet as well as this planet herself, Earth.

A UN global assessment report which I read about in The Guardian today blatantly details how we are destroying nature at an alarming rate.

“The health of the ecosystems on which we and other species depend is deteriorating more rapidly than ever. We are eroding the very foundations of economies, livelihoods, food security, health and quality of life worldwide,” said Robert Watson, the chair of the Intergovernmental Science-Policy Platform on Biodiversity and Ecosystem Services (Ibpes). “We have lost time. We must act now.”

I’m hopeful that the situation is not too late. That we as a species start to listen to the warning signs and take action. Agriculture, agribusiness puts a huge toll on the environment from deforestation for grazing cattle, to methane release led into the atmosphere, to faeces run off into our water supply.

As the report states, ‘Meat and dairy production uses 83% of farmland and accounts for 58% of agricultural greenhouse gas emissions but only 18% of food calories.’ It doesn’t make sense to continue to eat meat and it’s by-products.

People are worried and taking action and want more action to be taken. Last week, the U.K. MPs endorsed a Labour motion to declare a formal climate and environment emergency. The Government is now commissioning independent reports on what can be done. I’m hopeful that this isn’t just hot air and a way to silence the protests.

But we can’t be silent as the time for action is now. Some say it’s already too late. That we’re fucked through our own selfish actions and greedy behaviours. But I’m hopeful we can make changes to our ways of living that will allow us; Earth and all her species to survive and thrive. We all have to change.

“Are we content to hand down a broken planet to our children? That is the question members must ask themselves today. We have the chance to act before it’s too late. It’s a chance that won’t be available to succeeding generations. It is our historic duty to take it.” Jeremy Corbyn