I’m sharing this spread created this morning because I’m channeling the love. The love on self. In all my fucked up glory. There is beauty in the messy. Ugly and sweet. And that’s the way it goes ( Janet Jackson style!).
Sometimes, I can feel my energy stagnating. Or being leeched away into activities, projects or circumstances that I want to be in but which if I allow it take me away from what is important to me.
I do great work and I enjoy facilitating/ creating/ coordinating it. Changing lives and bringing joy and opportunities to others, for others.
But sometimes, I have to strengthen my boundaries and batter down the hatches in order to make sure I can show up the best version of myself for myself and others.
The last couple of weeks have found me running low on energy, patience and creativity. I’ve been giving away a lot of myself, time and energy, and focus.
So the next chapter to the end of 2023, is focused on me taking back what’s mine. Taking back my time, my energy, my sparks and directing them in the directions that feed my soul. Which fuels my dreams and confidence in my voice.
And it starts with preparing my next visual journal. I’ve returned to a trusty old faithful. A pink pig sketchbook. And I’ve set up on my kitchen bench with paints and the gift card.
Every time I go into the kitchen, I create a spread. I smear drops of paint across the page with the disused credit card. I can feel my energy, my excitement and joy rising.
This simple act of moving colour across the page fills me with joy, wonder and ideas. My creativity has been lit up again and I’m looking forward to filling these pages.
Looking forward to dreaming on paper.
Do lazy days make you feel rested or unproductive?
It’s been a bit hit and miss here over the last few weeks as I’ve been busy, walking and resting.
There are no lazy days. Saying a person is having a lazy day is such a imperialist, capitalist, white supremacy patriarchy judgement.
Our value does not come from how busy we are, how productive we are or how hard we hustle.
I’m done with that mentality and practice and conditioning.
I’m been resting up after my 96 miles hike for the lowlands to the highlands of Scotland and have felt no guilt or made any excuses for it. I’m luxuriated in the inactivity.
Rest is a weapon as I’ve said before. Rest is pushing back against a system which was set up not for my survival but destruction.
Rest is a Revolution. So while I write my morning pages from bed, cradling a hot coffee and a sugared ring donut, I creatively plot my next move in chipping away for the dismantling of the system.
This includes another coffee and another page of dreaming. I’m not lazing, I’m not having a lazy day, I’m creating friction, rebellion, freedom.
Today is my birthday and it dawned bright here in the Highlands. The sun has been dancing across the peaks of the Glencoe mountains but the rain and wind has followed soon after.
I wait to set off walking today. Alex is injured. A scar of a former wound has become infected and it’s touch and go if he can walk today. But the deal is if he can’t I go on.
I wait to see what happens.
Today is a short day of walking just over 8 miles but no doubt still a hard day as we attempt the Devil’s Staircase. The highest point on the West Highland Way (550m)which has claimed lives in the past as the navvies building the reservoir in Kinlochleven would take this route at night after drinking over this side and would get lost and perish in the mountains.
Nowadays, there’s a well defined path and hopefully we’ll be up and down before the light fades.
We will see. And here comes the sun again!
the lie in, for the peace and quiet, for the sun, for the light, for the time and space to rest and retreat – taken from this morning’s gratitude journal.
Living Wild Studios 