I just love it when we have a crisp morning and the frost covers the ground. There’s an extra crunch.
#decemberreflections2025
Frozen leaves
weather
Out of sorts I am
These last few weeks of November have found me out of sorts if I’m being honest.
Things that I’ve committed to, or poured my energy into haven’t gone my way or come to fruition.
The disappointment has been at times crippling as well as left me questioning.
Am I good enough? Am I putting my eggs in the wrong basket? Am I really going to bring about change in a system not looking to change?
The sheer effort to keep pushing that boulder up the hill is taking its toll. There’s a voice that’s getting louder saying, why bother?
What the fuck am I doing anyway?
It doesn’t help having these thoughts and being ill too. It doesn’t help that I feel I’m making progress and then turn the next corner to just get knocked back.
While I sit and lick my wounds, doing all the things I said I would never do again, I have to ask myself what am I doing? Where am I going? And would it be just better for me if I stopped caring so much, stopped fighting the ways things are and just give up/ in and accept the crumbs I’m given and be grateful.
Like I said – out of sorts I am!
A good day for leaf sensing
Going Berserk for The Snæfellsnes Peninsula
The Snæfellsnes Peninsula is a region in western Iceland known for its dramatic landscapes.
At its western tip, Snæfellsjökull National Park is dominated by Snæfellsjökull Volcano, which is topped by a glacier. Today this was hidden in cloud.
Arnarstapi is a picturesque fishing village on the southern side of the Snaefellsnes peninsula. It’s dominated by a stunning coastline of natural formations.
Dramatic coastline, shaped by centuries of volcanic activity and relentless ocean waves, is lined with towering basalt cliffs, natural arches, and sea caves that shelter a variety of seabirds, so says the Guide of Iceland and I cannot disagree. Being here and walking the trail, I finally felt as if I’d arrived. Settled into Iceland, in this body, in this moment.
Following the peninsula along we reached through lava fields the black-pebble Djúpalónssandur Beach.
The roar of the ocean and the power and the spray. It was magical. It was all consuming and I just wanted more. The rain was battering me on the wind and the water was getting closer to my feet. It was cold and wet and windy and wonderful. It was overpowering and exhilarating.
Final major stop was at Kirkjufell. Kirkjufell is a 463 m high hill on the north coast of Iceland’s Snæfellsnes peninsula, near the town of Grundarfjörður. Seen in Game of Thrones and called the “arrowhead mountain”, this was impressive and bold. Especially when playing background to the nearby Kirkjufellsfoss Waterfall. Beautiful.
Berserkjahraun, or the Berserks’ Lava Field, a story from the Eyrbyggja Saga. According to the saga, two Swedish berserkers cleared a path through the lava field, but were later killed by a local leader. He wore them out first in order to kill them. Strategy.
I don’t hold to the negative connotations of going berserk. However, I do lose all control when it comes to the Icelandic landscape. It floors me every time.
Welcome to 30 Days of National Poetry Month
It really wasn’t on my radar. But I must have signed up for a co-writing salon with Lemon Grove Writers. And you know how it is, afterwards they send you they send you other emails, sharing the stuff to buy into. Well one such email was sharing that the Lemon Grove Writers were offering a free 30 day poetry prompt email send out for the month of April to coincide with National Poetry Month in the States. As you know I’ve tried a number of years to write a poem a day in April, some years more successful than others.
It’s free, what did I have to lose? So expect to find a poem a day here for the month of April as I try to create something to the given prompt. I begin today with the weather.
If you want to receive these poetry prompts in your inbox, just sign up here. Happy writing.
One Day, Four Walks
Yesterday, I clocked up 17 miles on my walk into Aviemore and back. So today was a talking it easy kind of day. But I still needed to move my body. To explore the camp site and be with the loch. So a morning walk it was.
Sun just up. Loch serene.
Some days, to keep the creative juices flowing and the blood pumping, I take a walk out. Stretch the legs and clear the head. All those great thinkers from time have sworn by taking a walk and a problem is solved.
Sun up. River flowing.
As the afternoon wears on, I usually get a slump in energy levels. If I was home, I’d crawl under a blanket and ride out the low energy. Picking on myself for being so lazy and not doing something to shift my energy. Today I got back out to the loch and noticed a nip in the air. A rise in the wind speed and a reluctance to get into the water.
Sun descending. Loch rippled.
The aim was to enter the loch with the sun going down. But I couldn’t be arsed. There were too many people round. I was the only Black body around for miles as well as the only body I’d seen for my stay entering the loch. I was too tired to be singled out any further. So I walked the loch. Around to the point of the sun going down and the loch taking on the colours of dusk. I was glad I walked out again.
Sun down. Loch iridescent.
Saturday Gratitude
I woke up with a smile on my face.
Not sure why or how but I went with it. It got me outside the house into the sun. A cold day but we had the light.
The light pulled me around the park, as I walked ran walked. Second run of the week. So what if I took an extra day between each run to recover. I got back out and I’m grateful.
My mood has remained up as the day has gone on. And I say I don’t know why but I think I do.
I think because I’m building up the trust I have in myself is the thing. Because I’m consistently showing up for myself with my morning routine. I’m showering myself with care and attention. And I’m feeling the benefit of it, through waking up with a smile of my self.
It’s a circle – I give into my pot in order to receive.
Present Reflections
The weekend passed in a haze of pain. Being in pain is tiring. I’ve been keeping moving, not wanting to sit for too long and stiffen up.
My visual journaling practice has been helping to shift my energy. It’s been spreading positive vibes at a time when I could be feeling less positive. My mobility is compromised and I’m feeling it.
I’m not feeling sorry for myself but I have been annoyed with myself. I’m trying to offer more compassion and understanding towards myself and looking at this time of injury as I chance to reflect and learn.
What would I do differently? What do I need to listen to / heed to more? I was following no one else’s instruction than my own when I said I as going out Saturday. Through sheer pig-headedness I continued on my way, even thought I saw the path was dangerous. I didn’t want to be seen as having difficulty in walking. I didn’t want others to judge me as incapable or old even.
I didn’t want to give up on my plans, on myself, not wanting to be beaten I carried on even when my gut was saying turn around and go back home.
But I got beaten anyway and in a much worse way. I’m learning and listening now because I don’t have a choice.
I’m learning how everything is so precarious and one false move everything can change. I didn’t think I was taking things, my life and body for granted. But maybe I was/ still am.
Things have to change. I’m lucky that I have the time and space to bring about this change. Slowly does it indeed. I’m got nothing to prove to myself or anyone else. And I must remember this. No one is watching me as everyone else is focusing on their own shit.
It’s me who’s putting on the pressure, the expectations, the rules and regulations. It’s me who has to let go and surrender.
She spoke too soon …
My last post was about counting my blessings and having gratitude for the life I get to lead. I’m not saying that wasn’t/ isn’t still true. But maybe I just got ahead of myself.
Saturday saw me striding into town to complete errands over black ice. It was on my return that I hit the deck. Yes slipped on the ice right onto the base of my spine and backside.
I could have cried. The pain. I stayed down a bit to assess the damage. Two men came to my rescue and they were like ice skaters trying to stay up themselves. It was treacherous and really did I need to be out walking?
I walked on home, slowly in pain. Still counting my blessings as it could have been worse. And I’m not just saying that. While out I saw two ambulances coming to the aid of people who had fallen on the ice. Helping people into the back with head injuries. So yes it could have been worse.
Since the fall, yes I’ve been in pain. Heat has been applied and I’m keeping moving, if not but slower.
So here I am giving gratitude again because I can still walk and do things even if just slowly. This fall has made me realise how often I bend throughout my day and how I used to do it mindlessly. Now I’m totally mindful, in my body, tending my body with slow, careful movement which can only make me stronger.
Living Wild Studios 