tribe

Spiralling towards consciousness

| Sheree

This is why my favourite pattern within nature, apart from the wave, is the spiral. Again and again, experience shows me how we may feel that we are going around in circles doing the same things, making the same mistakes and never learning or moving forward.

But I beg to differ. I believe life’s journey is a spiral. Each year we go around, and it may feel as if we’re not moving. We’re not making any progress or making our mark. But I see it as coming back around over similar track but we have changed. Through the movement of time and experiences and knowledges, we’ve changed since the last time we were in this spot. It’s not the same spot. Things have shifted. and so we’ve changed. We’re not right back at the same point but moved further into the spiral. Not in a hierarchal way, , ascending or even descending, but more of a going deeper, more connected and centred movement of the journey.

Each rotation in the cycle, in the spiral throws up more learning and more insight that if we’re paying attention we can use on our life’s journey with more consciousness, connection and joy.

I share this because I’ve just recognised how I’ve moved through the spiral this year to come to further understandings and wisdom.

This time last year, preparing for anti-racism facilitation, I was reading What White People Can Do Next by Emma Dabiri.

It was from reading this slim volume of wisdom that I fell into ‘solidarity’ is needed within the anti-racism movement. In fact I started using a anti-racism is anti-capitalism. Solidarity between oppressed and marginalised groups in society is the way forward.

I went on a journey from here, maybe a spiralling into despair, as I searched for a group or organisation to be a member of, in solidarity across different sections of society. I was looking into the communist party, unions, anti-racism organisations, trying to find a place where I could belong and be in solidarity with others.

In my search, I found racism and sexism, individuals and groups still perpetuating the racial capitalist system. Still working with hierarchies and the unconscious bias that they were better than me, than they knew more than me therefore should control me.

I become demoralised and retreated. I put away my radical thoughts and ideas, convincing myself that it was better to be alone and true to my ideals than compromise and waste my time explaining or highlighting blind spots to so-called comrades.

And then these part few days, solidarity has raised its head again but through a different door. Through the door of abolitionism.

Ours is a fight against powerful systems of violence and terror.

 In recognising the interconnectedness of systems of state violence, abolition can be the basis of a new solidarity: one that acknowledges specific experiences of violence in particular communities, whilst building a unified, internationalist resistance.

Abolition doesn’t understand the concept of solidarity as an airy-fairy call for different oppressed groups to ‘just get along’. Solidarity is a vital strategic response to the prevalence and ubiquity of state violence. 

Abolition Revolution by Aviah Sarah Day and Shanice Octavia McBean

As we have witnessed in the recent council elections, with the surge in the popularity of Reform. This isn’t because this party has set out a manifesto of policies that will solve the issues of poverty, unemployment, economic crisis, the state of the NHS, the policing in our schools and stop crime such as rapes and murders. No this party, it just playing out the age out trick of creating the ‘enemies within’. The ‘enemies within’ can carry all the responsibility for what’s wrong within British society today. The immigrants, the refugees, the gangs, the nasty women, the people with darker skin who are innately hardwired for crime. The general public, usually predominately working class white people, can blame others, other oppressed and marginalised people for all the woes of society. Smokescreens and mirrors, instead of people coming together, across class, race, gender, sexuality, religious lines, in solidarity and challenging racial capitalism and state control and violence which are geared towards keeping the majority of people in poverty at each other’s throats instead. While a few, usually white cis-gendered men, retain wealth, control and power.

I say Reform, but the present ‘Labour’ government operates the same way. They’re all apparatus of the State working to keep power and control through violence and terror in the hands of the few.

 So for them the problem is not the historic experience of racism and the legacies of slavery and colonialism: it’s Black ‘gangsters’ on our streets. It’s not disinvestment from and neglect of working class communities: it’s Syrian migrants in our hospitals. It’s not military and imperial domination of vast swathes of the world: it’s Muslim extremists in our schools. Constructed ‘enemies within’ like these provide a constant justification for the use and expansion of state violence in order to maintain control; they tie people’s lived experience of the world to divisive narratives that weaken the collective consciousness of ordinary people. – Abolition Revolution by Aviah Sarah Day and Shanice Octavia McBean

I see the value of solidarity now, in building power in the direction of marginalised groups because it weakens the State’s power and control which is based on divisive narratives that weaken the collective consciousness of everyday people. The marginalised and oppressed.

Now maybe if I had this knowledge, last year, cycling and spiralling looking for my tribe, I might have stuck it out a little longer. Allowed our differences and bias to take a back seat because I believed we were working together across solidarity lines. Maybe.

This year though, with another trip around the sun under my belt, and another spiral deeper into my learning, I believe my solidarity within these groups would have still faltered as within and outside of these groups because they are not spurred on from the foundations upwards and onward with an abolitionist revolutionary thought and praxis.

I see now that these groups are looking toward reform rather than abolition. They are satisfied with tinkering with the edges. Gaining small concessions rather than a total overhaul. It’s like asking for and being satisfied with a more comfortable prison cell as a demonstration of change in how the State handles inmates instead of defunding/ abolishing the prison industrial complex all together.

I see that now as I continue to spiral towards consciousness, again and again. Onwards.

i’ve been searching for my tribe and i’m still searching

| Sheree

I’ve been seeking people, groups and organisations that I can become part of.

After a life changing anti-racism training session, which I no longer call it as such, where I realised that what I’ve been doing is really just continuing to centre whiteness and uphold white supremacy culture through this training, I feel the need to not be alone any longer in my views and activism.

I need comrades and solidarity in action.

This search for my tribe has seen me reaching out to the Revolutionary Communist Party( RCP) and the Revolutionary Communist Group – Fight Racism, Fight Imperialism, The Ella Baker School of Organising and their recent conference in London titled Defeating Narratives of Division and just yesterday, attending a meeting of the North East Anti-Racism Coalition. Let’s explore each of these experiences in turn as there has been much learning as well as clarification of where I stand in the mix.

First, my main concern around the anti-racism training I’d been doing for the last five years was that it wasn’t looking at the class system, oppression through class which is a result of capitalism. It really isn’t critical enough, or even analysing capitalism and how this is our common enemy. Through focusing on whiteness, white privilege and white supremacy culture is fails to acknowledge and really get to the roots of what and where racism came about. Race was the creation of the rich landowners afraid of the workers, both black and white, rising up and revolting. So they created the elevated status of whiteness, and the white class to bestow certain right and privileges on to the poor white workers who shipped over to the Americas for a better life form England as a means of separating them from this black workers they were so recently working side by side with. To continue to maximise profit through brutal working conditions the white working class was created, whiteness was now at the top of the hierarchy and could weld power over black workers who were once their comrades and fellow sufferers.

I realised that the common enemy is capitalism. We may have differences but we can find that common ground and come together to fight for better lives and conditions, or even destroy the whole capitalist system as then everyone, every worker would be better off. The means of production and money and gains within society would the shared out equally to all members of community. No one would be ruling over another, no bourgeois as Marxists would say.

I was looking for comrades and solidarity not allyship so I started to explore the Revolutionary Communist Party UK which split off from the Revolutionary Communist Group ( Fight Racism, Fight Imperialism) in 1978. I’ve been exploring them both really once I established the distinction between them. I’ve reached out to both, subscribed to the newspaper, Fight Racism, Fight Imperialism and bought some books. I must say it’s kind of like a labyrinth to try and get involved. The need for some connection or someone to just respond in an email what they are doing and how someone like me could get involved was needed. They want to talk to you on the phone and share what they are doing and almost interview me in terms of what I’m looking for or do or think. I’ve felt at times as if I was being tested for something.

Then I received a long essay to read. Marxism ‘v’ Identity Politics, which is what the RCP stands behind and I assume RCG ( FRFI) do also. It’s a long read but I persevered. From the beginning by back was up because they were talking about women, and women being slaves to men and being oppressed before capitalism was created. I got the feeling that when they were mentioning women they were referring to white women. But I read on. And in all honesty I cannot stand behind this document if this is what Marxist and Communists stand for.

I know within this document , it is repeated that Marxists stand against all oppressions and yet it still uses the language of the oppressor in terms of using ‘immigrants and non-whites’ and ‘oppressed minorities’ . I find its tone offensive, condescending and dismissive.

Failing to acknowledge that Third World/ Black Feminism has always been about fighting all oppressions for the betterment of all, being anti-capitalist, anti-imperialist etc. I feel where feminism is mentioned within the article it is just referring to white feminism.

I do take on board and agree to a certain degree that intersectionality and identity politics are divisive. I have tended to adopt an intersectional approach to issues now. But I have to take issue with the lack of respect and care demonstrated towards people’s difference within the piece. It almost feels as if the document is calling people who fight along identity lines against oppression as stupid or near sighted and just thinking of the individual.

There is a case for being forceful and adamant about what Marxism stands for, but I just didn’t feel the care and kindness and joy within the piece which I seek within any movement I am part of.

So I’ve left my Marxist/ Communist involvements there as they focus on the workers, as capitalism, imperialism, colonialism are the problems, we can come together and fight together on but not at the expense of love as the foundation. I felt the love and joy at the recent Defeating Narratives of Division conference in London with the Ella Baker School of Organising but I think this was coming directly from the creatives present as well as the gay and trans-people present. That’s how we want our movement to feel, joyful , respectful and loving and caring for each other. I am still waiting to hear back from the organisers of this conference in how I can get more involved.

Finally, yesterday I took a trip to Hartlepool to attend the North East Anti-Racism Coalition gathering so find out what they are all about and up to. Formed in 2024, they aim to make the North East a region that actively opposes racism and hatred based on religious identity. I was interested in finding out about their journey this far, what they stand for and what are their next steps. It was well attended, with the majority of people being white. After details about how the coalition has developed and where they see things going focusing on campaigns, membership, raising awareness and learning, we were tasked, our tables, to introduce ourselves and why we were there. I was the only black person on the table and while I said I was there to agitate, others were there to gain information to take back to their organisations, maybe not realising that they were also there to give not just take. But let’s go on.

Next was the keynote speaker, Matt Storey from Cleveland Office of the Police and Crimes Commission. He gave a powerful speech about how diversity within the region is a positive, a strength and how they are standing up against the racist riots of last summer, but he frequently referred to people of the global majority within the region as immigrants, or refugees and asylum seekers, people who had come here on boats so to speak, not once referring to the black and brown people who were born here in the UK, or the region who have been here for hundreds of years. For me this is just playing into the narrative that we do not belong here. There was talk of fighting and defending these diverse groups of people, again falling into the white savourism narrative. I am not your victim, I do not need saving, I need comrades and solidarity. We don’t need any more heroes thank you.

From here it was to get into working groups to focus on such things as membership, campaigns, learning hubs, and research. Let’s just say something about their research. It was billed as if the coalition was going to share some research. The person presenting their findings another white person came to the conclusion that more research was needed and was beyond the scope of the working group and should be taken on board by the wider/ whole coalition. The research proposed, you guess it, a survey of black and brown people in the region to share their experiences of racism. It can be done anonymously but if you give your contact details you will be put into a prize draw to win £100 in shopping vouchers. So please share with your networks as the deadline is 18 July.

Of course everything I’ve just said there about the survey is done in a sarcastic tone as I am not promoting people of the global majority in the region to complete this survey as from my point of view there is plenty of research completed which demonstrate racism exists. Maybe they want some up to date data after the riots of 2024, but still I’m sure there is research out there where they wouldn’t have to exploit or expect us to share our experiences once more or fall into this habit of having to prove it exists once again. There was no mention or indication as to what this research would be used for afterwards either.

I joined the campaign working group to see what was happening there. One question we talked about in smaller groups was how can we build better connections across difference. Things that came up was attempting to find that common ground, where there is mutuality over issues that we can come together on and work together on to bring about change for everyone. Yes I can get behind this.

But then, from the few other black and brown people who were part of this small group, I got the impression that is was a competition to share as many stories and instances of when and where they experienced racism. Of course the white people in the group were lapping this up but I felt it was again a way to prove that racism exists and is happening or has been happening within the region for generations. And this is true, but for me I am past trying to convince anyone that racism exists. For me it is a given, let’s move on. For me it’s just treading water.


And the last point, from another group’s feedback, a white woman speaking said that it would be really important for building connections to hear first hand from black and brown people about their lived experiences around racism. It helps others to understand it, she said. And I disagreed saying it just re-traumatises someone to retell their experiences of racism again and again to strangers, no doubt. A black man disagreed stating that we should be sharing, telling our stories. And I just said well from personal experience, I’d rather not be triggered and again it’s as if we are spending our energy on trying to prove it exists. That racism exists. I’d rather focus on our joy, black joy which white people do fin threatening but at least ti would demonstrate we’re not just cardboard cut outs created to experience race and racism.

After this I left. I left early because I’d had enough. I felt as if I was on different page to people who where at the event. I know it’s not an either/ or, it’s a both/and. But for me what was lacking was listening to each other. People were talking over each other, people were there to take at the same time as be heard, but there wasn’t much giving and listening.

I know I’m a lone wolf in terms of being fugitive. In terms of the way I think and operate. I listen and consolidate and try to meet a consensus but there was just not enough respect and comradeship within the room for me. It was very transactional and very little care and love and kindness.

So I’m still on the hunt for my tribe. I wanted to contribute to whatever was happening already. Contribute to the flow already happening. But as of yet I have not found this space. Maybe need to create my own that can hold all the contradictions and differences but is build on solidarity, respect, kindness, care and love.