solitude

Stand Still and Rest

| Sheree
Llyn Ogwen, Capel Curig, Snowdonia

I’m in North Wales. On a swimming residency. The heat and crowds have been killing me though.

Planning to keep cool with water. Inside and out. But the scenery here is amazing. There’s an ancient vibe to the place. I really get the felling that these mountains have been here for centuries and will be here long after I’ve gone.

There’s a timelessness about mountains which force me to step off the busyness and into the calm and collected stance of stillness.

Just like a mountain. Over the next few weeks, as we ease into the summer holidays, I’ll be here in fits and starts. Not putting any pressure on myself to produce as I’m tired.

I’m tired and need to fall back in love with creativity. And I also need something to say. So enjoy the summer and maybe see you back here. But if not over the summer, see you in Autumn.

Soon come.

Rest and Repair and Rejuvenate

| Sheree

Nature has so much to teach us if we only allow ourselves to {BE} and listen. Within nature, energies come and go in cycles; with the seasons.

There’s a time for bursting as well as for waiting. There’s a time for gathering as well as for resting.

Darkness and solitude, within society, are portrayed as somethings to be afraid of and to be avoided. I see both darkness and solitude as vital and necessary protective qualities for my energies. Allowing them to wrap around me and hold me during times of low, depleted energies and passions means, I can retreat. Rest and repair and rejuvenate safely. And come back bursting with energies and ideas and love when I’m ready.

Within white supremacy culture, the aim of the game is to be always switched on, always available to go go go and produce produce produce. The more you produce the better and the quality of such is not so much of an issue.

We are taught to always be striving for perfection. Perfection does not exist as we are flawed human beings. We know this yet this doesn’t stop us from striving for it. It’s a vicious cycle of striving, missing the mark and burning out. And striving, missing the mark, burning out.

Today I rest. I allow the feelings of guilt to slip away. I replace the chastising, criticising voices which shout about being useless and a failure and a disgrace with words of compassion and grace and love.

I deserve to rest. I deserve to take care of myself. I deserve to seek solitude and darkness.

The rest of the world can wait until I have nourished my energies and rested enough to feel ready to be its warrior again.