Feeling the need for more music in my life. Some classic tunes, hits and heart-felt vibes. Enjoy x
self-love
#sheofthewildwrites – hair
Day 7 – my hair feels like
:: A black woman’s body was never hers alone::
Fannie Lou Hamer
Is your hair real? she asks. I sit next to her on the stationary bikes.
Sweating.
I’ve seen them doing that kind of thing along the beach in Jamaica.
I say nothing.
Not to people like you but tourists. You know they pay for it.
I stare forward peddle faster.
Obviously, she’s an older woman who likes to talk. Maybe
the gym is a social occasion for her. I try not to judge.
Did it take a while for you to get it done?
I want to tell her that this is my hair. All my own hair.
Do you wash it?
Really, lady? You’re asking me if I wash my hair?
I want to ask her would she ask
the same questions to a white woman?
I focus on my reflection, and then catch her moving in.
Oh can I touch it?
No! You can’t. I find my voice.
She looks outraged and confused. But why?
Seriously?
I want to say
because I’m not an animal in a zoo
because I’m not your property
because this is my body.
But I say nothing. I move away and if anyone’s
watching it looks like I’m being rude.
#dreadscapes #blackwomensbodies #canitouchit #selflove
#sheofthewildwrites – Wounds
Day 3: in my mind
Our wounds are often the openings into the best and most beautiful parts of us.
– David Richo
My wounds ooze daily,
festering on the tip
of my tongue, lodging
in my throat.
Sometimes, they swirl
like a cyclone
through my ribcage,
aching deep inside.
My wounds are hidden,
hidden deep within my gut,
wearing away the lining,
washing away anything good
anything whole.
My wounds are fleshy and harsh
and vibrant and painful.
But you wouldn’t know
to look at me.
I smile. I laugh. I perform
kind gestures. I pretend.
My wounds are hazardous to life,
carrying a warning sign.
In my mind, I am healing.
I do the work, convince myself
all can be well. That I am worthy.
That I am enough.
But this is useless
if not translated
into the body.
These healing vibes
need to be transmitted
along my blood lines,
pumped into the centre
of my wounds
as it’s the body
that remembers.
#sheofthewildwrites #writersofinstagram #womenscreativity #poetsofinstagram #iamwriting #poetry
My Creative Year in Review – Part 1
In recent years during December I’ve taken the time and space to reflect back on the past twelve months in terms of my creative life. It is always inspiring and surprising to remember the things I have achieved as well as the mistakes I have learnt from along the way.
Following this practice of review means that I enter the next year, fired up and focused about the choices I want to make going forward.
If I had to sum up 2017 in 3 words it would include courage, voice and business.
Let’s take a look at each month ( the year will be split into two parts) and see what happened along the way to carry me into 2018, older but so much more younger in terms of wonder and curiosity.
January came in cold and dark. The ideal time to go deeper into my practice of hygge. During my winters walks #TheHealingPeopertiesOfTheSeas was conceived as a one day symposium all about our relationship with water. This has still to take place but the concept is out there and can be found on IG and Twitter. Holding this idea throughout the year has meant that I’ve been curating short 10 second films around water. These will be available to watch and add to during 2018.
February was the beginning of my exploration of voice. Having been chosen to take part in an Arvon foundation residential course for writers wanting to make change happen, I met a whole heap of interesting people who supported me on my journey of claiming and using my authentic voice around the theme of my body in the environment. This led into further publications of my creative non-fiction poetic writing here. I was also exploring my voice through painting by completing Painting the Feminine with Connie Solera. This was another opportunity for me to embody my multi-layered identity, providing the tools and techniques to support my self-expression.
March saw me return to Iceland as part of a self-directed residency with The Westfjords Residency. To spend an extended amount of time in an isolated village miles from a major town was testing. I questioned what I was trying to achieve by doing this, in terms of my creativity as well as my life. It was unsettling to some extent as all my usual boundaries were missing and for a while there I did flounder. I also experienced some racial abuse while in Reykjavik which made me question my relationship with the whole country. March was definitely a learning curve which manifested in a deeper love of Iceland which meant before I left I made plans to share this love with my family.
April was another month of learning as I not only completed a Woodland leader training course in the Highlands of Scotland but I also went live with my new website and brand name Living Wild Studios. I’d procrastinated enough and it was time to be seen, showcasing all of my creative adventures under one roof.
It was a scary time but one that I wouldn’t change as I went with my gut and created a beautiful website I’m proud to call my home. It’s varied and dynamic and changing to reflect how I’m changing.
May seemed to have gone in a blur. I know it was a time of disrupted plans due to Alan’s mam being in hospital for an extended stay. It was a time of sticking close to home and putting my family first and foremost. But I did try to keep moving forward with Living Wild Studios as a business, extending my reach through social media. To be honest, I didn’t really enjoy this month as I was trying to operate in a way that wasn’t being authentic to me. I had to explore my relationship with social media, with the pubic arena at large and withdraw to do so. This was good for me, for my sanity.
I continued my social media hiatus into June. I felt I was just settling into my own space and voice by the end of May so wanted more time away from distractions to listen within. This was an important month for me to dive deep into the Creative Facilitator Training I had started with Lisa Sonora this year. I had been building up a resistance to the course as it wasn’t as I had thought it would be. I expected more. But then I realised that this is an experiential course and I get out of it what I put into it. All along I’m using myself and my experiences and beliefs as the learning examples so in order to learn and move forward I had to be more engaged. A light bulb moment which saw me returning at the end of the month to social media to share my visual journaling practice, the foundation of my creativity, much more extensively and thoroughly than before.
#SheOfTheWildWrites
She of the Wild announced this challenge at the beginning of the year. We’re doing a daily writing challenge for January 2018.
Use the prompts to fuel each day’s writing, then you can share what you write with the writing community on social media, Instagram mostly, using the hashtag #sheofthewildwrites.
This is a great way to get back into a daily writing pracfice. I am most grateful to Beth Morey for organising this as I know this challenge is going to stretch me but in a good way. Join in.
Biggest Change of 2017
#decemberreflections2017 – day 9 – The biggest change I have experienced in 2017 is around the confidence I have in myself. Confidence in who I am inherently, flaws and all. And yes I am striving each day to be the best version of myself, my authentic self, and this is not because I’m unhappy with me, the way I am now, but because I know within my bones that I’m here to make a difference, to bring about positive change for others. In order to fulfil this potential I have to be willing to change myself to accommodate, in reflection and in relation to the amazing opportunities and adventures I’m honoured to experience during this journey. #authenticsheshe #womenscreativity #empoweringwomen
Burning Woman
This year I attempted to make a concerted effort to read more books. I felt that I was missing out on rich and varied worlds and ideas by not reading enough. I started off well but I think things went off the boil mid-year, when things in my family life got a bit hectic and harrowing.
I’m trying to pick things up now moving into 2018. To choose just one book as the best for the year is something I cannot do. Also you usually just remember the last few books you’ve read as they are the most recent. To think back over the year, if you haven’t been keeping track is difficult to do anyway. Note to self: keep a record of what I read next year!!!
So I choose Burning Woman by Lucy H. Pearce on the premise that this is one of the books I have kept returning to over the year as it is so packed with juicy truths that resonate with me deeply. This is kind of like a handbook for claiming our power as women internally and externally. I definitely claim the title of a burning woman. #decemberreflections2017
ten:two
1. Up at 5.30am.
2. The whole centre to myself. Silence.
3. The mist rising off the reservoir into grey.
4. The warm glow of women gathering.
5. Smearing colour across white spaces claiming voice.
6. Hummus, falafel, kebabs and naan.
7. Hot boiling black tea with a hint of cardamom.
8. Walking out back amongst the pines.
9. Larch cones clinging to dark branches.
10. Joy.
ten:one
1. He goes into the bathroom and slams the door.
2. The candle flickers in the draft.
3. My shirt with black blobs of paint is creased.
4. The coffee beside me smells hot.
5. I curl my legs up under my bum and feel my muscles stretch.
6. A car drives past outside.
7. There is cloud. There is weak light.
8. A fine drizzle speckles the window.
9. The central heating rumbles into life.
10.The house groans in its spaces.
Living Wild Studios 