self-care

Making Journals

| Sheree

A while ago, I got the idea into my head to make junk journals to sell on Etsy. I got a variety of papers and cardboards and ephemera together to make them and enjoyed the process.

While decluttering last month, I found my stash of handmade junk journals. I’d sold none. I’m not even sure if I’d put them up for sell. Sometimes as a creative, you can have these ideas and instigate them only to fall short of the finish line. Something else might take your attention away, something more shiny or you could allow fear and doubt to step in and paralysis the process from moving any further.

I’m not sure what happened with these junk journals but I felt the urge to just use them on my return from Iceland.

I need something that’s self contained and discreet as I put myself back together after the time away. I felt free and unhurried and playful while away. Now back I have to slip back into responsibilities and worries and demands from others, and to be honest it’s a rough textured blanket against my skin at the moment.

I’m still remembering and wanting to be with the smooth soft caresses of Iceland. And dream into the landscape.

So maybe keeping the bar low. Just making sure I turn up to the page daily and working out the feelings and kinks is enough right now.

Almost like beginning again. Each new day is day one. No pressure and no comparisons just be. I feel attempting this in a clean journal, a clean slate is doable at the moment.

Hence cracking open my homemade junk journal and just allowing whatever needs to turn up, turn up.

Taking My Rightful Time

| Sheree

You know when you have to do something but you don’t want to do it?

That was me today. I had a meeting which I had to go to in order to keep receiving some money. And I just didn’t want to be there.

Before I got there I said to myself, do this and then you can go try that new coffee shop afterwards.

Do you do that? Bribe yourself into doing something? In getting things done even when you don’t want to do it?

But there I was and in the process of doing the thing I didn’t want to do and ended up enjoying it. It wasn’t as bad as I imagined it would be. It turned out to be an enjoyable meeting.

I sailed out of there with a smile on my face because in the scheme of things, I’m doing a good job. I’ve got my freedom, I’m my own boss and I’m doing something I enjoy.

Yes my bank balance is not busting a gut but I get by. And that’s all I want to do. I want to get by doing the things that bring me joy rather than be rolling in the green and be unhappy and unfulfilled.

So yeah I went to that coffee shop after the meeting I didn’t want to go to and enjoyed dreaming on paper afterwards.

Iceland Did It Again

| Sheree

I first ventured into Iceland 9 years ago to heal after the shit hit the fan episode. Taking the risk to travel around an island I didn’t know alone built up my confidence and belief in myself. I felt better and ready to start over after that first visit.

Now after my 5th or 6th visit to Iceland, she’s done it again. She’s helped me heal. She’s filled my pot once more with curiosity and love and I’m so grateful for the care she’s shown me.

It was shocking weather while away. Rain every day. But I’m not complaining as I had the gear to protect me. And on my last day on my trip to Sky Lagoon, there was rain, hail , snow, sun and a cold wind all within a matter of hours of each other. It was wild. I was lucky to be walking in it all at the time and I got sore teeth. Because I was grinning like the big kid I am through it all.

I’m not sure when or if I’ll return to Iceland again. I hope I do. But I have strict instructions to take Miss Ella next time. Until then, I’m more than happy to relive the memories and experiences of this trip. There might be some writing and creations I’ll be sharing here over the coming months as I work through them all.

Going Berserk for The Snæfellsnes Peninsula

| Sheree

The Snæfellsnes Peninsula is a region in western Iceland known for its dramatic landscapes.

A break in the clouds at Ytri-Tunga- a seal watching place. I saw no seals!

At its western tip, Snæfellsjökull National Park is dominated by Snæfellsjökull Volcano, which is topped by a glacier. Today this was hidden in cloud.

Arnarstapi

Arnarstapi is a picturesque fishing village on the southern side of the Snaefellsnes peninsula. It’s dominated by a stunning coastline of natural formations.

Arnarstapi

Dramatic coastline, shaped by centuries of volcanic activity and relentless ocean waves, is lined with towering basalt cliffs, natural arches, and sea caves that shelter a variety of seabirds, so says the Guide of Iceland and I cannot disagree. Being here and walking the trail, I finally felt as if I’d arrived. Settled into Iceland, in this body, in this moment.

Arnarstapi

Following the peninsula along we reached through lava fields the black-pebble Djúpalónssandur Beach.

Djúpalónssandur
Djúpalónssandur

The roar of the ocean and the power and the spray. It was magical. It was all consuming and I just wanted more. The rain was battering me on the wind and the water was getting closer to my feet. It was cold and wet and windy and wonderful. It was overpowering and exhilarating.

Kirkjufell

Final major stop was at Kirkjufell. Kirkjufell is a 463 m high hill on the north coast of Iceland’s Snæfellsnes peninsula, near the town of Grundarfjörður. Seen in Game of Thrones and called the “arrowhead mountain”, this was impressive and bold. Especially when playing background to the nearby Kirkjufellsfoss Waterfall. Beautiful.

Berserkjahraun, or the Berserks’ Lava Field, apparently, if you believe the stories.

Berserkjahraun, or the Berserks’ Lava Field, a story from the Eyrbyggja Saga. According to the saga, two Swedish berserkers cleared a path through the lava field, but were later killed by a local leader. He wore them out first in order to kill them. Strategy.

I don’t hold to the negative connotations of going berserk. However, I do lose all control when it comes to the Icelandic landscape. It floors me every time.

ten year ago I was brought to my knees and was grateful

| Sheree
Ice Cave, Perlan

I thought about it when I wrote the date in my visual journal and then proceeded to forget about it. I never gave it another thought, until now when thinking what I was going to share today, here on this blog.

10 years is a long time. 10 years I didn’t think I’d have, survive never mind thrive. 10 years and I’m here, living my life on my own terms. Fugitively.

I walked right smack into lushness today. If not with the trees, in Iceland, the place that was once devoid of trees. Then it was visiting Perlan and experiencing the wonders of Iceland; volcanoes, ice caves, geyser and northern lights.

It brought immense joy to walk around Perlan and feed my inner child. There were many times when I was close to tears because of the feelings of pleasure and joy I experienced through learning new things and being wowed by nature.

It was a good day. I’m grateful for being here, 10 years on, when really I was never meant to survive the attempt to ruin me. But here I am, and still I rise.