Today was about getting back to me again and again
seaswim
In My Happy Place
A May of Healing
It makes a difference when we’ve got the light. And it’s warm with it.
I’m in a three day streak of getting into the sea, straight after the school run. The tide has been in too. Which I love.
I love it when the bay is full to the brim with sea. I don’t have to walk far before I meet the water.
I give thanks when I greet the sea. Because she’s always there for me. Not judging me. Not rejecting me. Just welcoming me.
In the past, the sea has healed me again and again. The first time of any significance was when I miscarried our second child, back in 2009. We moved to the coast soon after as I needed to heal.
And to be healed is not a one time thing. Healing is a life long process. Sometimes I’m locked into my healing journey and sometimes I veer off course and need something or someone to remind me to get back into the practice. The practice of healing.
So with a new month comes a renewal. And this is the time of year to renew. Spring is well and truly with us now. And the blossom may be receding and just pink petals on the wind, or white even. But I’m catching hints of bluebells.
So my list of habits and actions to lean into for a May of Healing includes:
- A high protein breakfast.
- Making sure I get 8+ hours of sleep each night. Priority!
- Getting lost in a few good books.
- Walking each day. Getting outside into the light.
- Getting into the sea as often as possible, at home and away.
- Visual journaling daily.
- Getting back into painting for pleasure. To hell with the results.
- Increasing my fruit and veg intake.
- Increasing my water intake. At least 2litres a day.
- Continue on my strength training journey.
- Insight timer daily.
- Reconnecting with friends and family I haven’t talked to for a while.
- Solo dates like to the cinema or a museum. Or a delicious meal out for one!
- Acquire some new plant friends.
- Create a zine or two.
- Plan the summer holidays for Miss Ella and me. And also solo me!
- Keep traveling for pleasure and joy instead of work commitments and responsibilities.
- Write someone a letter.
- Dance party, music consumption daily.
- Rest. Rest. Rest.
The water is ice cold. It’s like being bitten. The natural instinct is to retreat. Drawback. Curl in on self – reducing the amount of surface skin touching the ice cold water.
I do not.
I keep inching forward so more and more skin is exposed to the cold. Now. My toes, the first part of my body to touch the water, are numb. They’ve taken on that false warm feeling as it they’ve warmed up and comfortable. But they are not.
Now. I’ve lost all sensation in them which is good. As if the pain had continued from toes all the way up to my thighs where the ice cold water has now reached, the bites, the incessant biting sensation of short sharp teeth would have taken over my system along with the piercing screams erupting from my lips.
Now. Instead, I continue to wade into the ice cold water. To my core. Now. I breath deeply, and bend at the waist, outstretched my arms, fingers hitting the water first to push back the ice cold water as I take my first breast stroke.
Now. My body is totally submerged and she is screaming out in protest. She is in pain but I do not listen to her. Instead I push further out, making wide sweeping stroke with arms whose elbows are howling in pain. Now. I keep my breathing steady and continue to glide through the water as if my body is not asking for mercy, asking to retreat, asking to exit ice cold water.
Now. It happens. The cold is no longer felt as acutely. No lingering ice cold. Just cold. And numb. Numb and cold. I continue to swim across the bay. And give thanks. Now.
Consistency
I’m using my morning routine as an anchor. Each day comes and goes, but I can show up and repeat a selection of rituals which keep me present and bring me joy.
When there are days when I hit a funk, when the energy is low and I forget about the abundance in this world, I lean in a bit more fully or a bit longer into a certain practice until I come back to myself.
Today, I needed to move with the sea. It’s been two weeks since I’ve been into the sea what with being away and experiencing the come down. So I promised myself last night, today is the day to return. I kept this promise to myself, strengthening that muscle of trust in the self.
It was freezing and beyond. The wind chill was sharp and painful. The waves were high out there. But I walked in and out, did my acclimatising dance and gave thanks.
I thanked the sea for being here, always to greet me. No matter how long I’ve been away, or how broken I turn up. She is always there to greet me in all my fucked up glory and I thank her for holding me, for rocking me back home to myself. To her. To the universe.
Serene SeaSwim
Consistency
This is my final day in Barcelona. Well Spain, as I took a trip yesterday southwest along the coast to Sitges and stayed.
This is the Mediterranean Sea and I got in it this morning. It wasn’t planned as I didn’t bring a swimming costume on my travel. Travelling light I was. . So it was a very fetching set of underwear that saw me right. Who knew!
Not as cold as the North Sea but still fresh. But oh so clear. Glass clear. It was just what my body needed . Now I’m chilled in a good way. Bones, and sinew relaxed, grateful for this time away with myself.
I thought I would have written more here on the blog while away but I haven’t. Saving my reflections for after rather than during. Really being present while here has been my focus. And it’s felt LUSH.
I’m proud of my consistency as I’ve still kept up with my morning routine while here as well as completing a whole month of posting on my blog for January.
Another consistent habit/ practice for January and hopefully beyond, has been honouring my body. Listening to her and giving her what she needs and desires. This is new as before it’s been denial and depriving and depreciating.
2025 had seen, no felt, a change with my relationship will my body. I’m looking forward to exploring this even more during February. The month of love!
Time to Rest
How do you relax?
This week has been busy. Schools are back and the summer is just hard to shake off, even if I wanted to
Tired has been the word of the week. So tired. Thank God it’s Friday and time to relax.
I know I’ve earned it. So what do I do? I get into the sea. She has the power to excite and relax me both at the same time. I’m washed clean after a quick dip in the North Sea, taking a moment to express my gratitude for this blessing.
Living by the sea never gets old, never gets boring as she is never the same sea twice. Seas would be a more accurate word to describe her.
Summer Solstice Sea
Living Wild Studios 