rest

Girl’s Reading for Pleasure

| Sheree

I’ve got a reading streak going on with kindle – not including the physical books I’ve read this year.

I’m at about 210 days and 70 books done. I surpassed my projection of 50 books on kindle.

Anyway when I get sick, I get to taking it even slower and instead of watching pap TV I turn to books to escape from my uncomfortableness and irritability.

It soothes me to read a good book. And I’ve been getting into speculative fiction. I would have said I’m crime fiction and romance fiction till I die. But once I’ve come to realise, really see how both of these genres prop up the capitalist, white supremacy, patriarchal, colonialist system, I can no longer read them with joy.

I can no longer read them full stop. So to fill the void, I’ve been reading non-fiction by black authors and speculative fiction by black authors too.

If I’m gonna be buying this shit then let me buy the shit that supports my people and continues to help me get free.

So here’s a selection my recent reads.

these are a few of my favourite things …

| Sheree

I’ve missed a few days here.

I don’t know if I expressed it openly but I’ve been trying to post every day here in honour of a practice from years ago of being creative every day.

This last week, home alone and probably depressed, I’ve been beating myself up for not doing more. More out in society as well as within my own practice. I’ve been on a rollercoaster of emotions and I’ve not been kind towards myself.

Coming out the other end though I can see that I’ve been doing what I’ve needed. Rest yes but also quiet, small magic.

I’ve been collecting brown paper from packages. I thought I’d use them within the creative retreats I facilitated this year but it didn’t happen. So I have a very large pile and what I love about the brown paper apart from the sound and texture is the un/uniformativity of it.

These papers are teared to fuck. Fragile and worn and rough. And I love feeling them. So this week, I might not have been posting here but my sitting room became a factory conveyer belt as brown paper got the credit card treatment of smeared paints. Acrylic paints that I’m using up that I love the mixtures of, that gets under my nails and onto the carpet. And I love it. One side wait to dry and then the next and then let’s fold and put these single sheets together to make a whole

This practice has made me whole again this week. I’ve been writing within this new journal this past couple of days and I feel so good to be doing so. Better.

I’m grateful to wake up each morning and {BE}. I’m grateful that I’m no longer chasing recognition and the big bucks. I’m grateful that I don’t give a fuck about being perfect and always having to smile.

I’m grateful for the community I have around me. Cultivated over years. They care for me and I care for them.

I’m grateful to myself for never giving up on me and for always having my back even when it feels I’m falling apart. Falling apart but big hands to put me back together again, but better.

Just

| Sheree

sometimes I fantasise about disappearing. not death.

just checking out. take to my cosy cottage in the shadow of a mountain.

grow pumpkins and squash. swim in a lochan daily.

write that novel. for me. not caring if anyone reads it.

i’m {BEING} on my own time.

slipping under a liminal moon. free.

Daily Walk/ 011

| Sheree

i know in my body

when i’ve reached the point of ease, of relaxation, of joy

my eyes rise skywards, and i take in the clouds,

the breathing is deeper

the moving is slower

the feeling is bright

today’s ponderings while lying on the couch …

| Sheree

liminality

in-between spaces

lingering in the midst flight

fugitivity

nowhere at all

the potential of edges

black captives trapped at sea

zones of non-being

“Wherever blackness dwells—slave ship, spaceship, graveyard, garden, elsewhere, everywhere—those captives accessed what Spillers calls a “richness of possibility.” Hortense Spillers quoted in La Marr Jurelle Bruce, How To Go Mad Without Losing Your Mind: Madness and Black Radical Creativity.

bramble bunches of joy

| Sheree

This is what I love.

My camera is my eye. It helps me see what I see better.

My camera helps me to appreciate what I love. Nature.

My photography is an archive and a mediation. It slows me down.

Going out and taking pictures brings me joy.

I’m intrigued my Mother Nature’s expressions. And my camera helps me to take the time with her.

I do not create for an algorithm. I do not create for likes and approval.

I create for me. I create for joy.

Me sharing my creations is like a ‘show and tell’. Look this is what I love.

Back with Kiwi

| Sheree
My morning spread

As the wind rocks us, and the rain soothes us, Kiwi and I enjoy a little excursion.

Hardly little when we drove from our home to Portsmouth and then to Lymington to catch the ferry to the Isle of Wight.

I came here once before with my mum when I was in middle school I think. Or maybe high school. We brought my friend Judith too.

We stayed in a B & B and went to the beach everyday. It was gorgeous. Now looking back, it seems weird going away on holiday with a school friend. But that’s what we’d do back then.

I say weird, but here I am away with my Uni friend Alex and his partner. So go figure.

It’s forecast wind for the weekend and showers. So let’s see how it goes. I’m not complaining because I’m mighty cosy inside Kiwi.

I’m slowing all the way down. Appreciating the time and space, dropping out of time and space for a little while. I’m taking to {BEING} this more and more these days. Figuring out that rest, slow and {BEING} on my own terms is all I ever want in this life.

And I’m not going to given this. I have to take it.

TGIF

| Sheree

We’ve been trying to get into some kind of routine again after the summer and into the school days. It’s been a bit hit and miss really. As the energy levels are not there and it’s still early days.

Maybe I’ve been expecting too much of myself too soon. We’re still in the temperatures and light of summer, as autumn is creeping around the corner. But still.

I think I’ll offer myself more grace and space. Take my cues from nature and cool down slowly. There’s still a heap of things to do but if I’m trusting myself, I know they’ll get done all in good time.

Friday is here – the end of the first week back at school and we’ve made it here. Job done. Doesn’t matter in what state we got here. We’re here and I’m taking a moment to rest and dream through my visual journaling.

I’ll be back over the weekend and share some of my favourite spreads at the moment. I’m just loving the space and colour and vibes my visual journaling is giving me right now. Thank you.