my kissmaking hand

I’m sticking with Lucille Clifton today for day 2 of GloPoWriMo because I don’t think I read enough of her. I don’t think anyone can read enough of Lucille Clifton.

I came to her writing late and I’m not going to beat myself up to catch up. I’m going to savour every poem I read of Clifton’s as I don’t believe her poetry, her words should be rushed.

Clifton’s words have the ability to live in the bones of a person and that’s where I want them to lodge and not let go.

So today I share ‘cutting greens’ because of this poem’s ‘kissmaking’ – nature and humans as one.

GloPoWriMo 

April is Global Poetry Writing Month (GloPoWriMo). And I need it as things become apparent in the next couple of weeks as I share here.

I need to get writing but have been fighting a cold and bug for the last week so my energy levels are low.

But I’m moving through it grateful for each day I feel a bit better and manage to get out for a walk.

I am going to be writing poems this month but for me writing goes hand in hand with reading.

So this month of writing poems will see me sharing poems here. As a motivator as a means of getting out of a rut.

So today – Day 1, I share a favourite poem from Lucille Clifton.

Learning Vulnerability

Tell us about your first day at something — school, work, as a parent, etc.

Longsands, Tynemouth

After Krista O’Reilly-Davi-Digui

Learning to move from head to heart,

moving into greater vulnerability,

everyday feels like the first day.

There is the risk of doing or saying

the wrong thing. Hurting others

as I learn to express myself,

what I want, what I need

makes those close uncomfortable.

And yet,

as I step deeper into fugitivity,

linger in the edges, skin prickly

with expansion. I trust.

Take self-authority and do not hide

from this becoming, this vulnerability.

Offering myself and others grace

and compassion, I walk on, slow,

with heart in hand.

Sharing some words on substack

I haven’t looked back since I left mailchimp and took Living Wild Studios Notes over to substack. To send out a missive, a newsletter, or even just a hello is so much more straightforward and simple. It makes the task less arduous and much more enjoyable.

So I’ve just spent some time today creating the last note of the year for subscribers. And I added in an audio reading of it too, because I can.

It’s just me musing about the loss of words this year and then finding them again through listening outdoors and within. Go on over there and check it out. Warning: poetry included too!

And sign up as a subscriber if you fancy too. You’ll be more than welcome.

Not quite ready yet

I’ve been receiving emails from newsletters that I subscribe to detailing end of year round ups and reflections. And I’m not sure I’m ready yet to step into that energy. I’m still living the year in front of me now – day by day. To let me just linger in the moments. Linger in the awareness of time passing. Winter’s here and the geese are getting fat an all that. But even in these times of worry, brutality and violence, let us to a moment to breathe and give thanks.

I only saw his shine once it was too late to feel it

In the dream, he comes back to me, whole and young.

He was always young in my eyes. When I used to ask him at each birthday how old he was, Daddy would answer, 45.

He was always 45 in all the years I knew him. All the years I was living, he was dying.

In the replaying of images, I play it differently.

I keep my distance until he asks for me to bring his slippers or newspaper. I offer them with bowed head. I don’t throw them at him as I used to. Escaping his rage, escaping the beats.

I keep my distance, but I want to be close to him. To hold him. To feel his love for me. Then and now, still needed after so many years gone.

To serve, he brought me up, to serve. Instead of getting the vacuum clearer out, he had us on the floor picking up the bits of fluff and crumbs. To hear his pride at a job well done was enough.

When I enter the chapel of rest, it’s like I’m floating on air, light as the flowing curtains concealing a prize. I see him now, as then …

he‘a surrounded by gold satin, his mahogany black skin shines, relaxed and unlined, sea-black lips wave-curled and still.

He looks younger than 45. Even though the plaque on the coffin lid reads 1920 -1981 – he was 61. And the time he was dying. I was living.

Poem – An Act of Faith

Isn’t that what a poem is?
A lantern glowing in the dark.

Elizabeth Acevedo

Just as dusk is falling, I walk. Affected by the elements,

head in pain from the wind, I force myself out into the dim light,

believing moving my legs will strengthen my heart.

Motherly care, higher forces in radio silence. Walk

The moon pale blue and silent. But still there. Always.

Like the ancestors, guiding. Allowing me to find my own way. Tonight.

To falter, make mistakes and loop back. Remaining open.

Trusting these windows of silence as still inspiration.

Hope holds optimism. Optimism holds joy.

The touch of joy, fine-grained dark jasper, I search for along the path.

This spiritual path of putting pen to page, again and again.

Like one foot in front of another. An act of faith.