Do not allow those people who hurt you
Do not allow those words that damaged you
Do not allow those situations that pained you
Do not allow those occasions that destroyed you
To turn you into the person you were never meant to be
Stay Soft
LUSH
On my travels
Today is my travel day for the first trip of 2025. While knee deep in shit in 2024, with the feeling of drowning in it, I made a commitment to myself to hibernate for the first 3 months of 2025 ( as I am {being}). But I also promised to focus on the experience(s) rather than the material in 2025.
So instead of buying more stuff ( low buy year), that is just going to sit around collecting dust or do I really need another duvet set?, I made an intention to use this money I would waste on ‘goods’ on experiences instead that would make me feel something, hopefully joy but also curiosity, wonder and awe.
Today I fly out to Barcelona to begin this year of experience(s). A year of me saying ‘yes’ to my desires. Instead of talking myself out of things or worrying about costs ( all travel is on a budget and carbon off set) I’m just going to {BE}/ do it. I’m going to fill my pot again and again with goodness and ease and abundance because God(dess) knows no one is gonna.
So come along for the ride with me as I revisit Barcelona after many years of absence. At one time back there, I used to visit Barcelona every year around autumn with the family and seek out the golden light.
Not sure what the light will be like this January but I’m ready to find out.
Travelling light in so many ways, I’m walking into my next experience promising to stay in the moment.
Present for this present. Come with me!
Wednesdays
I haven’t done this in a while but I’m feeling it today. The mid-week slump, nevermind hump!
After a restful weekend, I used to rush into my Mondays and do all the things. Get everything in order for the week ahead. Full blazing glory that meant come Tuesday, I’d been down and out. Knackered.
It’s been awhile since this knackered feeling has hit me on a Wednesday. After a couple of days of emotional roller coasting and focusing on traumas and past hurts, moving my body to move the energy, today I’m staying put on the couch, alternating between coffee with hot buttered toast, and YouTube and reading. Eyes drooping and head nodding.
I really don’t give a fuck as this is the point of my hiatus, hibernation for the next 3 months, to rest and retreat and dream. If I’m feeling like doing fuck all then I’m doing fuck all. Nothing.
My worth is not measured in how much I achieve in a day, how many things I can cross off that never ending to-do list. My worth just is. I’m here. I’m enough.
So excuse me while I stretch out a bit deeper into the couch of many cushions and blankets and flick through the line up for an afternoon movie, a black and white one maybe. Old school. LUSH.
Studies in Brown 2:0
LUSH Life
Can you share a positive example of where you’ve felt loved?
As I’ve recently shared my word of the year is LUSH. I love this word. It reminds me of my childhood when everything was LUSH; a way of expressing my enthusiasm and my curiosity. When it wasn’t shunned to be in your feelings. When it was natural to full of awe and wonder.
I’m evoking LUSH this year to get back to that state. To foster these feelings more in my every day. I want to feel the LUSHness of life.
And yes I have been in my feelings this week, even if those feelings have been of pain and annoyance and regret towards my recent accident. But you have to experience all the feels in order to appreciate the joy and pleasure.
As a way of anchoring myself into this LUSH life. In order to have a reminder of where I am, what feelings I really want to wallow in, within joy and pleasure and self-love, I have this green ring I wear on my left hand. It’s a commitment from myself to myself. It’s a reminder of the love I am fostering and leaning into towards myself.
The ring has weight to it. The ring is beautiful. When I wear it I’m feeling it’s there on my ring finger and it’s reminding me I am loved and cared for. I am enough as I am, no conditions. This green ring, significant LUSH, is unconditional love for myself.
This. Right. Here.
Birthright
Our body-temples are divinely designed to restore themselves, but we must rest in order to do so. For rest is not a reward…it is our birthright. And rest helps us to indulge in soft sacred spaces where we are reminded that we are intrinsically worthy of love, concern, care, and pleasure. – Sensual Faith, Lyvonne Briggs
End of week Gratitude
This week has been a blessing.
This week was back to school week but things could have been worse. A cold weather front has hit the UK. Yes it’s cold up North but it could have been worse. At least we’ve had the light. And it’s remained dry even if each morning the windscreen has been frozen.
I’m grateful because I’ve had the privilege of spending quality time with Miss Ella and supporting her on her journey to her GCSE mock examinations. She’s capable, she just needs to believe in herself more. And that’s where I can come in, for sure.
I’m grateful because I managed to get into the sea twice this week. And there’s still time for more. The sea produced some big waves which were beautiful and dangerous. There was a lot of jumping waves and giggling like the little girl I didn’t get to be when growing up.
I’m grateful to be able to control where I direct my time and energy. At the moment that is all towards myself, first thing, and then I’m ready for what the rest of the day throws at me.
I’m grateful to nature ( until I find a better way of referring to her/ me/ us) as I take my cues and guidance from her and continue to hibernate and rest and dream. LUSH.
Studies in Brown
Living Wild Studios 