An Archives of Memories, Feelings and Skyr

This is one of my favourite images from my extensive collection.

I know exactly when and where it was taken. Westfjords Residency, Iceland, Feb/March 2017.

This was my go to breakfast. Coffee, cornflakes and Skyr, Icelandic protein enriched yogurt. I love the colours, the composition. The items included. But most of all, I love the memories and feelings just looking at this image evokes.

It takes me back to that time of wonder and discovery during my second time to Iceland. A residency I gifted to myself, writing the application while teaching temporally; frustrated, longing to get out and create.

I stayed for two weeks in the shadows of the mountains, knee deep in snow most days until the thaw came with some greening of the landscape.

I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing there back then. I just knew in my body that I needed to get away, gain inspiration from the landscape and {BE}.

I might not have completed much when I was out there, but I know when I returned the experience shifted my creativity and how I saw myself as a creative.

I saw glimmers of the Northern Lights during this retreat. Pale creamy wisps and trails in a dark navy sky. It was magical and a mystery.

This makes me think about my art-making practice and how most of the time I’m working in the dark, moving out of my comfort zone into the unknown, looking and listening hoping to catch a glimpses of magic and mystery in the process.

What’s created on the page, like this photography, is an archive, a record which when looked upon brings to the surface all the memories and feelings of the process, the experience once again experienced to the full with wonder and a smile.

Living the dream

All last year I kept saying to myself, I desire to book a night’s stay at a Malmaison hotel.

Particularly the Newcastle one. Years ago I’d stayed in this very hotel, for different reasons at different times in my life.

I kept saying to myself book yourself in, as a treat. Rest up and enjoy the luxury. And it is a luxurious hotel chain. Decadent and opulent. And way out of my price range.

I couldn’t justify the cost. It was just to fulfil a whim.

When plans for the New Year changed and I found myself at a loss, I fulfilled my dream of 2025 on the first day of 2026.

I booked an overnight stay at Malmaison Newcastle. A Club Delux room, a free upgrade.

I didn’t do much while there except write, paint, shower and sleep.

I enjoyed the space, I enjoyed the nice smelling toiletries and the complimentary chocolates.

But …

I won’t be needing to book another night or two at a Malmaison hotel. I lived the dream. Enjoyed the dream.

But …

I much prefer the life I’ve cultivated in reality, in real life. Right now.

i still ain’t smiling

i’ve been spending the last week or so really diving deep into what my word for 2026 will be.

2025 was all about fugitivity, dreaming and conjuring. And this will continue into 2026. But i need some direction. Something that will encompass my purpose with room enough to expand and explore.

i learnt a few lessons in 2025 in adopting a persona/ a mask in order to protect myself / to create some safe space for myself so ‘ i may not see myself as others see me.’ Invisible Man, Ralph Ellison

i’m fixing to create ( or is it continuing to create?) new narratives around blackness in order to expunge the past dominant narratives we’ve been fed around blackness up until NOW.

i think i’ve found my word for 2026 – AFROSURREAL.

Shoot. Develop. Print. Film Camera Experience

I finally got to see the magic happen.

I was gifted a voucher for a ClassBento creativity class last Christmas. And I’m just getting around to using it today as I attended a photography class with Daniel Dabrowski.

I’ve wanted to experience the dark room and developing my own photography for decades. So I was super excited to finally fulfil this dream.

I used a ME Super Pentax 35mm camera. Daniel gave me some instructions around the camera – aperture, shutter speeds, the light and composition.

And then I was let free to take images in the park. I was in The Meadows, Edinburgh. It was dry but grey. But I loved the opportunity, the freedom to roam and snap.

The light is everything.

Once I got 36 images it was back to get the film out of the camera off the spool and developed.

I learnt so many new things that I’ll probably forget but I did learn to do it all in the dark. Feeding the film into a reel to be placed a canister so is light protected. Then adding the chemical to the special quantities needed for the film. Shaking gently for certain times and letting it stand. Hanging up the film reel to dry. Yes. There are images captured on the film. No duds. We have something to work with. Relief.

So many steps in the process of developing your own film and you can get into a focused rhythm, a meditative magic. It’s such a beautiful dance. Another experience where I felt as if I’d stepped out of time.

All that mattered was what was right in front of me. Witnessing the images appear. Shadows, ghost, haunting upon the papers.

Photo credit: Dan Dabrowski

I look forward to continuing the practice.

A Creative Sketchbook, Dec 2025

My creative sketchbook
My creative sketchbook rules

I’m not sure how my creative sketchbook differs from my visual journal. Intention maybe.

Perhaps, I think , I’m attempting to develop my art practice within a designated space. A study maybe.

I haven’t really been in the thick of my art making practice since the preparation for my Baltic exhibition back in 2022-3.

This was quickly followed with the writings and (re)drafts of Darkling, my poetry/hybrid collection published in October 2024.

After this 2025 has been a period of extended rest and refusal.

But something has been niggling me. The desire to create with paint again. the desire to play without expectations and outcomes/ products.

I’ve just scratched the itch through scrolling through Pinterest. Adding another abstract or landscape painting to a board that I’ll probably not look at again.

But it satisfied this niggling feeling. Until it didn’t.

It was going back into the classroom. Completing a few days of supply that pushed me over the edge.

The time I gave away for money. The time I’d lost pursuing my own pursuits. And realising that I wasn’t pursuing all the pursuits I wanted to pursue in the time I had/have.

So out came a creative sketchbook, inspired by the 30 days sketchbook challenge created by Cheryl Taves over at Insight Creative.

This is as much as I’m willing to share for now about the challenge, my creative sketchbook, processes and insights.

One of my rules is that it’s just for my eyes only. I want to see how this rule changes my practice. I want to create without fear but with curiosity. I want to give myself all the freedom without worrying about what others will think or say or comment on.

It’s not like I’m hanging on other people’s responses and reactions but I have gotten into a habit of just sharing anything and everything on my blog and I’m curious to see what happens when I keep things to myself.

Just for my eyes, heart, and soul only.

So far I’m enjoying the process of the challenge and I’m reflecting and paying attention to what makes my heart sing, what’s my creative vocabulary, what pushes my energies.

Do doubt whatever I explore within my creative sketchbook will be showing up in everything that I create. In everything who I {BE}. For sure.

Taking My Rightful Time

You know when you have to do something but you don’t want to do it?

That was me today. I had a meeting which I had to go to in order to keep receiving some money. And I just didn’t want to be there.

Before I got there I said to myself, do this and then you can go try that new coffee shop afterwards.

Do you do that? Bribe yourself into doing something? In getting things done even when you don’t want to do it?

But there I was and in the process of doing the thing I didn’t want to do and ended up enjoying it. It wasn’t as bad as I imagined it would be. It turned out to be an enjoyable meeting.

I sailed out of there with a smile on my face because in the scheme of things, I’m doing a good job. I’ve got my freedom, I’m my own boss and I’m doing something I enjoy.

Yes my bank balance is not busting a gut but I get by. And that’s all I want to do. I want to get by doing the things that bring me joy rather than be rolling in the green and be unhappy and unfulfilled.

So yeah I went to that coffee shop after the meeting I didn’t want to go to and enjoyed dreaming on paper afterwards.

Self-Portrait as a Writer – Day 29

they say poets are reluctant to call themselves ‘poets’. well at least the ones that aren’t famous.we all have to come to the blank page. collections, awards, residencies whatever, we carry the fear of never being able to repeat that measure of success. or that we are never ever gonna write that good again. BULLSHIT. i don’t buy into self-depreciation. there’s enough of it out there without adding to it, by piling on myself. just give me a moment, to breath, to open my body, to listen to the whispers within and the world without. then i’m bound to create something. the trick is to remain open. to have no expectation. to drop the comparison trap and to just play.practice. dive into the process and {BE}. and before I know it I’ve got this singing imagine, this hook, this solid rock stance of intuition that I’ve just nailed the essence of a poem.