I was reminded of my connection to the sea today by a stranger. The sea showed up in my work without me knowing so until it was pointed out to me. I thank this fellow poet for their observation as well as holding space for myself and others to break through. More to follow on this experience.
I showed you this handmade journal in May. It was supposed to be on sale in an Etsy store. Well the best laid plans and all.
I started using it on my return from Iceland and completed using it, that is my energy was called elsewhere before the end of May.
Can’t wait to show you what I’m working in now. But until then here’s the completed journal.
Describe one simple thing you do that brings joy to your life.
A while ago, I got the idea into my head to make junk journals to sell on Etsy. I got a variety of papers and cardboards and ephemera together to make them and enjoyed the process.
While decluttering last month, I found my stash of handmade junk journals. I’d sold none. I’m not even sure if I’d put them up for sell. Sometimes as a creative, you can have these ideas and instigate them only to fall short of the finish line. Something else might take your attention away, something more shiny or you could allow fear and doubt to step in and paralysis the process from moving any further.
I’m not sure what happened with these junk journals but I felt the urge to just use them on my return from Iceland.
I need something that’s self contained and discreet as I put myself back together after the time away. I felt free and unhurried and playful while away. Now back I have to slip back into responsibilities and worries and demands from others, and to be honest it’s a rough textured blanket against my skin at the moment.
I’m still remembering and wanting to be with the smooth soft caresses of Iceland. And dream into the landscape.
So maybe keeping the bar low. Just making sure I turn up to the page daily and working out the feelings and kinks is enough right now.
Almost like beginning again. Each new day is day one. No pressure and no comparisons just be. I feel attempting this in a clean journal, a clean slate is doable at the moment.
Hence cracking open my homemade junk journal and just allowing whatever needs to turn up, turn up.
You know when you have to do something but you don’t want to do it?
That was me today. I had a meeting which I had to go to in order to keep receiving some money. And I just didn’t want to be there.
Before I got there I said to myself, do this and then you can go try that new coffee shop afterwards.
Do you do that? Bribe yourself into doing something? In getting things done even when you don’t want to do it?
But there I was and in the process of doing the thing I didn’t want to do and ended up enjoying it. It wasn’t as bad as I imagined it would be. It turned out to be an enjoyable meeting.
I sailed out of there with a smile on my face because in the scheme of things, I’m doing a good job. I’ve got my freedom, I’m my own boss and I’m doing something I enjoy.
Yes my bank balance is not busting a gut but I get by. And that’s all I want to do. I want to get by doing the things that bring me joy rather than be rolling in the green and be unhappy and unfulfilled.
So yeah I went to that coffee shop after the meeting I didn’t want to go to and enjoyed dreaming on paper afterwards.
I first ventured into Iceland 9 years ago to heal after the shit hit the fan episode. Taking the risk to travel around an island I didn’t know alone built up my confidence and belief in myself. I felt better and ready to start over after that first visit.
Now after my 5th or 6th visit to Iceland, she’s done it again. She’s helped me heal. She’s filled my pot once more with curiosity and love and I’m so grateful for the care she’s shown me.
It was shocking weather while away. Rain every day. But I’m not complaining as I had the gear to protect me. And on my last day on my trip to Sky Lagoon, there was rain, hail , snow, sun and a cold wind all within a matter of hours of each other. It was wild. I was lucky to be walking in it all at the time and I got sore teeth. Because I was grinning like the big kid I am through it all.
I’m not sure when or if I’ll return to Iceland again. I hope I do. But I have strict instructions to take Miss Ella next time. Until then, I’m more than happy to relive the memories and experiences of this trip. There might be some writing and creations I’ll be sharing here over the coming months as I work through them all.
Living Wild Studios 