I passed through this part of Scotland, Glencoe, the Highlands, last month on my West Highland Way trek.
In the shadow of mountains, the three/ five sisters and Etive, and it was my birthday, I made the promise to myself to return. To retreat here with pen and paper and see what materialises.
I’m here. And just being. Walking and filling my soul. And {BE}. I followed my instincts which was calling out for this space of nothingness.
For this soft place to land to tend my brokenness.
Sometimes, I can feel my energy stagnating. Or being leeched away into activities, projects or circumstances that I want to be in but which if I allow it take me away from what is important to me.
I do great work and I enjoy facilitating/ creating/ coordinating it. Changing lives and bringing joy and opportunities to others, for others.
But sometimes, I have to strengthen my boundaries and batter down the hatches in order to make sure I can show up the best version of myself for myself and others.
The last couple of weeks have found me running low on energy, patience and creativity. I’ve been giving away a lot of myself, time and energy, and focus.
So the next chapter to the end of 2023, is focused on me taking back what’s mine. Taking back my time, my energy, my sparks and directing them in the directions that feed my soul. Which fuels my dreams and confidence in my voice.
And it starts with preparing my next visual journal. I’ve returned to a trusty old faithful. A pink pig sketchbook. And I’ve set up on my kitchen bench with paints and the gift card.
Every time I go into the kitchen, I create a spread. I smear drops of paint across the page with the disused credit card. I can feel my energy, my excitement and joy rising.
This simple act of moving colour across the page fills me with joy, wonder and ideas. My creativity has been lit up again and I’m looking forward to filling these pages.
Do lazy days make you feel rested or unproductive?
This morning’s gratitude
It’s been a bit hit and miss here over the last few weeks as I’ve been busy, walking and resting.
There are no lazy days. Saying a person is having a lazy day is such a imperialist, capitalist, white supremacy patriarchy judgement.
Our value does not come from how busy we are, how productive we are or how hard we hustle.
I’m done with that mentality and practice and conditioning.
I’m been resting up after my 96 miles hike for the lowlands to the highlands of Scotland and have felt no guilt or made any excuses for it. I’m luxuriated in the inactivity.
Rest is a weapon as I’ve said before. Rest is pushing back against a system which was set up not for my survival but destruction.
Rest is a Revolution. So while I write my morning pages from bed, cradling a hot coffee and a sugared ring donut, I creatively plot my next move in chipping away for the dismantling of the system.
This includes another coffee and another page of dreaming. I’m not lazing, I’m not having a lazy day, I’m creating friction, rebellion, freedom.
Today is my birthday and it dawned bright here in the Highlands. The sun has been dancing across the peaks of the Glencoe mountains but the rain and wind has followed soon after.
I wait to set off walking today. Alex is injured. A scar of a former wound has become infected and it’s touch and go if he can walk today. But the deal is if he can’t I go on.
I wait to see what happens.
Today is a short day of walking just over 8 miles but no doubt still a hard day as we attempt the Devil’s Staircase. The highest point on the West Highland Way (550m)which has claimed lives in the past as the navvies building the reservoir in Kinlochleven would take this route at night after drinking over this side and would get lost and perish in the mountains.
Nowadays, there’s a well defined path and hopefully we’ll be up and down before the light fades.
My study for day 4 on the West Highland Way is waterfalls. Water has been a reoccurring theme on this journey in more ways than one. with the Loch being flooded in parts, with amber weather warnings of more rain and flooding, rivers and brooks swelling with all this excess water, well there’s no getting away from it all. Water water everywhere. But I’m not complaining because it need refreshing and eventful and a different walk this time around. I’m grateful to be here and to be blessed with each and every waterfall. All different and unique in their own way.
Ramble. I’m looking at the dictionary, it means to walk for pleasure in the countryside. Or to talk at length in a confused, inconsequential way. Or in the case of plants for them to send out long shoots in all directions and take over the place.
For me, all three definitions makes me think of aimlessly wandering with no direction or objective or task in mind. Just moving, and taking joy in that simple pleasure.
As I notice the slow and subtle changes in the seasons, as the dregs of summer linger and yet the nights are drawing in with a chill, I take the time to get outdoors and ramble. Yes in nature if I can get it, through a park, forest or along the shoreline. Or just around my suburban streets, as there are still plenty gardens in bloom.
Wandering without clock watching, or rushing from one place to other, is a luxury I’m in no hurry to give up or compromise on because it always lifts my spirits, reminds me I’m alive and what a beautiful gift life is.
Adrift in the wonderness, adrift in that carefree feeling and breathing of a ramble is so much more bountiful at this time of year, my favourite time of year, autumn. Blink and I’m afraid I could miss the glorious display of colours; golds, oranges and reds, and textures; those damp silky mushrooms, to the slinky, slick wet leaves.
I tell a lie. Plants don’t ramble without a purpose. That’s me projecting. When a plant shoots out roots, shoots and branches anywhere and everywhere, it’s not the case of anywhere and everywhere, because they are seeking out light. They are bramble rambling into space and light. They are on a mission. And this I salute. Because when I ramble I’m seeking that same lightness. In spirit, in mood, in physicality. I want to be the light. I want to be light.
