A Small Stone

A small stone is a few words or lines that tried to describe a moment observed; a fragment that tried to capture a moment.

A small stone creates an intimacy with whatever is being observed. It creates a close relationship with whatever is true in the world rather than being distant and disconnected.

A small stone forces us to slow down and connect with the world around us. I used to have this as a daily practice as I tried to tune into my experiences within the world. As I tried to become aware of the beauty within each moment.

As I dive deeper into hibernation mode this winter, I’m resurrecting the practice of a small stone a day because I’ve been feeling out of sorts. I’ve been feeling disconnected from my surroundings, from nature, from this beautiful world around me.

I want to pay attention more, I want to be once more aware. More awake. A small stone a day is a practice that will support my journey of being on this world and wanting to be more sympathetic to others, be less judgemental and more open.

So I’m giving myself December to get back into the practice is a small stone a day. You are more than welcome to join me.

Sharing Darkling

I share my new poetry collection Darkling, come 7 November, 6-7.30 pm (GMT). I’m excited about speaking these words aloud in company. There’s something magical happens when we give voice to our creations. Allow the words, language to reverberate through our bodies. We come to the words almost anew, a fresh and feel all the emotions and meanings as they enfold again and for the first time.

I know it’s going to be an emotional session to share as this book was a long time in the making. I’ve changed so much in its creation. But I’m ready.

I share a poem with you today from Darkling. And please join me in its launch next week.

found poem: we arrived here with stars in our hair and needles between our toes*

after drea brown

be autumn/ be siskin/ be slick

twilight licks our dark skin

deep within the forest

straining through spruce/ larch and pine

(trial & error I learnt their names/ names

are never easy on black bodies)

living within the unknown (out)side

where history is wet/ with memory/ & muchness

within the shadows/ within the wake

we search/ for a tenderness in the brokenness

breathing in/ in-between spaces

tongue locked/ tongue packed/ tongue tied

we be/ but not be/

unfurling like tight fisted ferns

brown bruised/ violence against ourselves

into the woods/ in flight/ in creep creek/

in restless/ motherless moan

shapeshifting/ combing the black air/

what would happen/ if we linger

in the midst/

/////////slow////////down////////slow//////motion///////

refusing to be absent for ourselves/////////slow///////breathing//////

together/ listening to each other/ listening

to this haunting presence/refusing to play dead/

stay dead/

*the title is inspired by something within Paul Taylor, ‘Black Aesthetics’, Philosophy Compass 5/1 2010.

<https://sites.hampshire.edu/blackaesthetics/files/2017/03/taylorpaul-blackaesthetics.pdf&gt;

Darkling

Cover design

I’m not sure how much I’ve shared here. I’m not sure if I wanted to speak it into existence out of fear of jinxing it. Maybe.

Last year, my last publisher Andy Croft got in contact with me asking for my poetry collection. Smokestack Books is planning to close its publishing doors and Andy wanted to go out having published my next collection.

We have a history as Andy published Laventille (2015) and stood by me throughout the whole ‘shit-hit-the-fan’ experience when my life and profession and writing were ruined ( or there was an attempt to ruin me as I’m still here to tell the tale).

So I said yes, maybe naively. As since then I’ve been on a rollercoaster of feelings as I attempted to bring the collection into existence.

Darkling was the result.

At some point I will share some of the poems within the collection. Some of the poems started within this blog. But even though I just got asked last year to complete this collection, I feel, no I know, this collection has been nine years in the making. Ever since Sheree Mack was cancelled in May 2015, I’ve been making my way back to Sheree Mack, someone I didn’t even know existed until she was forced to start again from nothing to building a much stronger and truer foundation.

Darkling is Smokestack Books swan song. Darkling is my rebirth song.

There will be a reading planned of the collection with special guests as support. Check out the details here. Thursday 7 November, 6-7.30pm (GMT).

Lush

If you had to give up one word that you use regularly, what would it be?

A word that I don’t think is used enough by me and by anyone else, even though it’s favourite of mine is LUSH.

Lush is a word that vibrates off the tongue and can if used properly can bring the whole body into the expressing it.

Lush to describe the fullness and luxuriate and attractiveness of anything and everything is such a luscious word to use in itself.

So I use the word lush a lot but I’m never gonna give up using it.

Join me with bringing back the extensive and joyful use of lush!

#lushiscomingback!

A Handmade Month

Visual Journal Spread- Handmade Journal


This month is hurtling along and September is just around the corner. With my favourite season of the year – Autumn.
But we’re still in Summwr for now. Still a few days left of August and I’m here after a luscious seaswim, with coffee and journal trying to make sense of the last few weeks.

Visual Journal Spread- Handmade Journal


I’m back from Ireland and I can’t believe I did it really. It was another world, another time. To just have to think about driving to my next park up each day and feasting my eyes on the landscapes and seascapes was a gift. I’m so glad I did it. And of course I have to go back as I didn’t cover all of the coast. I finished just inside County Kerry and just part ways around the Ring of Kerry. But in no way am I disappointed. To wake up every morning within different bay or coastline or treeline and get into water well I’m so grateful.
I know my adventures with the wild Atlantic coast helped me fall back in love with my own coastline as it’s been hit and miss this year with the sea. And getting in her!

Visual Journal Spread- Handmade Journal


The images above are taken from the handmade journal I created to take on my travels. There’s still pages left so I’ll continue to use it. It’s a mixture of cartridge paper and brown wrapping paper. Both covered in acrylic papers and ink and images and quotes and stickers. A hodge podge of reflections and moments and a-ha moments. But the texture and the crinkle of papers is divine.

Visual Journal Spread- Handmade Journal


One spread is my habit tracker for the month of August. On reflection the habit that I have kept the most this month has been reading. After submitting my poetry manuscript at the beginning of the month ( thank goodness), I’ve had more time and headspace to pick up a book or listen to an audio book. Blog newsletter article. Anything really I could get my hands on I’ve been reading. I didn’t realise how much I’ve been missing out on long periods of reading for pleasure and joy. What was best was listening to audiobooks while driving. I was getting so involved with the plots and characters because of the strength of writing but also because of the voices of the readers. I was laughing and crying and whooping behind the wheel of Kiwi and loving it.

Visual Journal Spread- Handmade Journal


So with the month coming to an end and the nights drawing in, I intend to get cosy with more books and reading. I’m between projects, writing as well as coordinating them, and I’m just more than willing and ready to fill my pot with juicy words, images and ideas before I think of next steps.

Visual Journal Spread- Handmade Journal


I know I’ll be using my visual journal to collect any thoughts, feelings and ideas that percolate through so I don’t miss any nuggets but also to keep the conversation going with myself.
I planned the Summer to be about rest and time away and just doing what I love. And it hasn’t disappointed. I’m grateful I put myself first and had the resources to be able to disappear from the public realm and work and other commitments to feed my soul.

Visual Journal Spread- Handmade Journal


Thank you as always for coming a long on the journey with me.
X

Gratitude can help remember

Honesty

I’ve been forgetting. Or I’ve been avoiding. I need to remember.

This is the life I’ve yearned for. This is the life I’ve worked for. This is the life I’ve sacrificed for.

Standing this close in the mix and mess of things, I forget. When I’m juggling projects and deadlines and the multiple personalities of others. I forget, this is what I’ve been dreaming about for years.

Freedom to be and do what I want. To follow my desires and needs and wants and still be able to provide for my family.

The freedom to rest and play when I choose and not at the whim of anyone else.

Remember. “You’re walking in the hope of your yesterday”. Thank you Krista O’Reilly-Davi-Digui for this reminder.

I remember and give thanks for this life I have chosen to lead and which I sometimes takes for granted and complain about or even get down about.

I remember what I have forgotten and give thanks for it all.

Gratitude can help us remember. I remember now.