Amber Royal Serena Estelle Musgrove Mason Melgram, Nana Amber, circa 1955
It’s what I do right. When I’ve been absent from the blogs, websites and zines, absent from the public realm, then I take a day out of my schedule to catch -up with them all. To post something, to let my readers know that I’m still here. Still alive and kicking. When I get my bum in the seat and force myself to write, something comes along to fill in the blank spaces. And today is no exception.
I’ve been dancing around cyberspace, updating my spaces with words and reflections and memories.
So for now I’d just like to point you in the direction of Studio Notes over on Substack where I’ve just posted about my nana Amber. For some reason, she’s been on my mind this week, and there at the smell of brown bread from the kitchen she comes back fully to life. Check it out and if you feel inclined, add a comment or even become a subscriber, free or paid.
“We are not the idea of us, not even the idea that we hold of us. We are us, multiple and varied, becoming. The heterogeneity of us. Blackness in a Black world is everything, which means that it gets to be freed from being any one thing. We are ordinary beauty, Black people, and beauty must be allowed to do its beautiful work.” Kevin Quashie describes in Black Aliveness, or, A Black Poetics of Being.
(Speaking about Robert Lowell’s poetry) “Lowell removes the mask. His speaker is unequivocally himself, and it is hard not to think of Life Studies as a series of personal confidences, rather shameful, that one is honor-bound not to reveal.”
M. L. Rosenthal’s article “Poetry as Confession.”
I’m taking a four week confessional poetry course with midnight & indigo. Founded in 2018, midnight & indigo is a small publisher and literary journal that provides a space for Black women writers to share their narratives with the world.
Tw weeks in and I’m loving the course, Tell Me Something Real: How to Write Confessional Poetry. Not only is the tutor, Schyler Butler knowledgeable, and thorough providing great examples for poetry within this genre all from Black women, but the group of writers signed up for the course bring it every week with their insight and feelings around each poem we read and discuss.
And then we get to trial out what we’ve learnt through these close writings within our own writing, as the sessions finishes with time to write a first draft of a poem and then share it with the group. I’m enjoying what I’m coming up with after being inspired. Because in all honesty, from time I’ve been a confessional poet but have never smashed the term on it.
Confessional poetry in essence can be distilled to 4 main components.
Be of an intimate subject matter.
Use the first person.
Be autobiographical or seen/ appear to be.
Use skilled craftsmanship.
I’m working on a new body of work now. So still in the draft stage but I’ll share a poem from time here, as evidence of my appreciation and dance with this form of poetry.
White Women
Within my family, there are white women. White women who married black men. I forget, neglect the fact that their blood flows through mine.
Trace the past, a sea of faceless white is mine. The black men forefront, a mist of women behind. Their names, I don’t know or forget.
They are the enigma, shadows. Forget the cleaning and cooking, their duty and mine, they went against the grain, steadfast women.
In the corner of the frame, you white women are not forgotten. Your spirit is mine.
As my great nana Rosa ( the wee ginger lass who hooked up with the Ghanaian sailor) used to ask, ‘How you fizzing?’
There was a time when people lived their lives in deep connection with the Natural world. We lived, worked, ate, and designed our days and even our homes around the cycles and seasons of the planet, in sync with the Earth we depend on. That connection kept us grounded, mindful, and, in many ways, healthier in mind and body.
Today, research shows that 93% of our lives are spend indoors – and that was before the pandemic!
You don’t even have to be a nature lover to know that can’t be good for us. In fact, we’re coming to understand that so many of the world’s most pervasive problems – from heart disease, depression, and poor sleep, to droughts, wildfires, and rising oceans – can be traced to our personal and societal disconnection from the Earth and from our own “true nature” as humans.
That is why I’m delighted to share with you today an upcoming event created specifically to address this damaging disconnection with simple, practical tools you can apply to your life right away – no matter how busy you are.
🌳 The Rise Up Rooted Global Wellness Symposium 🌳
Reconnect with the Earth, Reawaken Your True Nature, and Rewild Your Busy Life!
I’m proud to be a featured speaker at this event where I’ll be talking about healing with/in nature. I’ll be talking on WEDNESDAY, MAY 17th and it will be available for participants to watch for 48 hours.
And don’t worry – this event isn’t going to monopolize your week. Alex is committed to serving busy people so none of the interviews run longer than 45 minutes. So you’re sure to get all of the wisdom and none of the fluff.
Here are some of the other topics you can look forward to during this info-packed week:
🍃 Digital Detox: How to Rewild Your Brain and Body with Tracy James
🍃 Food, Nature, & Human Health with Robin Richardson
🍃 The Natural Path to Beauty & Self-Care with Face Yoga with Danielle Collins
🍃 Heal Your Home, Heal Your Body with Charlie Lemmer
🍃 Exploring Ancient Wisdom in Nature for Challenging Times with Beth Norcross
🍃 Pachamama is Calling with Mariela Maya
🍃 Nature as Creative Muse with Cathy Nichols
🍃 How to Use the Metaphor and the Wisdom of the Five Seasons to Guide and Inspire Us withKaryn Prentice & Elaine Patterson
🍃 Black British Women: Reclaiming the Landscape withSheree Mack ( WEDNESDAY, MAY 17th and will be available for participants to watch for 48 hours).
🍃 Guiding Changemakers from Burnout to Renewal withDevorah Brous
🍃 Regenerative Design for Life and Landscape with Keri Evjy
🍃 The Healing Power of Trees in Cities with Jackee Holder
🍃 Telling Your Own Nature Story from Your Soul with Devorah Spilman
🍃 Bringing Children Back Into Nature with Ellen Dee Davidson
🍃 Walking in Nature: The 20-Minute Miracle Cure with Alex Strauss
…and many more!
You really don’t want to miss this.
You can attend the Rise Up Rooted Global Wellness Symposium completely FREE. When you register, you’ll be notified each day when the various interviews are available.
PS – The amount of practical wisdom you will get access to for FREE during this event has the potential to dramatically change the rest of 2023 for you (not to mention the rest of your life!) I recommend you make the time. Click here to register.
PPS – Got a friend who could use a dose of Nature’s medicine? Please forward this invitation. All are welcome!
Commentary: years ago I wrote a poem titled ‘ i am becoming my mother’. I think it’s in my first full collection Family Album, Flambard Press 2011.
A few weeks ago while attending one of my late night across the Atlantic poetry group workshops, I had an inkling to revisit this poem with the intention of bringing it up to date. To try and incorporate all the ‘Sherees’ that have developed, spored since the first poem, since my mum’s death and teachings have passed into decades gone by.
So I created this piece. Same title but definitely more expansive.
i am becoming my mother
Dehumanising the Black woman. Mammy, Jezebel, Sapphire, Bitch.
The black woman is seen as one dimensional; the mule of the world, carrying the heavy burden of mothering all others except her own.
Her own children are lost; lost to the auction block, the ocean, the noose.
A Black woman is a source of strength and love. Passing on power as well as pain.
Her body carries stories, carries histories, carries an archive.
As I mentioned earlier in the month, reading and writing/ writing and reading go hand in hand. As I’ve tasked myself with a poem a day this month, I’ve also tasked myself with reading poetry and wider as it all feeds into the creative process.
Dal Kular, a dear friend and awesome imagineer, brought Foluke Taylor and their writings to my attention. I’ve been taken by Foluke’s writing around creativity and repetition so when Dal mentioned the book, Unruly Therapeutic, I knew I had to pick this book up and read it. And I’m so glad I have done just that ( well still reading it in fact!).
This is a hybrid, break down the structures kind of book in terms of how it’s written but also how it centres the Black woman’s experience. It’s music to my ears on so many levels. More so in being real, and allowing the thoughts and concepts presented to meander. To double back and repeat. There’s even a music playlist at the end go each chapter as an indication of what Foluke was listening to while the book was under construction.
I’ll return here with a review of length, but for now I just wanted to mark the reading of this text and a recommendation to get out and buy your own copy, as I’m not lending mine out!
I recently talked about the coming of April and how more poetry would be appearing on here as I attempt to ‘play with words’.
You can not imagine the delight as well as confirmation I received this morning while reading an article for the commissioned essay I’m writing at the moment around (Black) Motherhood.
A bone of contention with me is when I see the words ‘mother’ and ‘motherhood’, even though I have birthed children, I do not see these terms applied to me. ‘Mother’ and ‘motherhood’ come with the connotations of white and whiteness for me.
Test it yourself. Be honest. When I first mentioned ‘mother’, what image came to mind for you? If not a white woman and child. I’ve seen image after image of the idea of motherhood, the natural beauty of ‘The mother’ and nine times out of ten the image is of a white woman and child. As if a Black woman is not/ cannot be seen as a mother, even though a Black woman is the source of the whole human race. Go look that one up!
Anyway, I’m going off topic here ( but not in terms of the hybrid essay I’m writing for the forthcoming special Demeter Press collection, The Mother Wave: Matricentric Feminism as Theory, Activism, and Practice (2023)).
Reading this article this morning, ‘ Conjuring the Ghost: A Call and Response to Haints’ by drea brown, there is a mention of poetry lying in the body, coming from that dark place within where our true spirits lies hidden and growing, argues Audre Lorde. But poetry is also our way, Black people’s way, or theorising and making sense of things. Through our stories, narratives, riddles, poetry; playing with words and language, we not only gain an understanding and reimagining of our lives but these are also tools of surviving.
As Black women, speaking from my lived- experience here, through our creativity, through our playing with language in such a spirited way, we enter in the process of not just theorising and strategising but also self-making and through this practice passing this on to others. Passing on this power to others. It’s what we do, have been doing through time. Starting with the mothering we do of ours and others babies
Words: adapted from ‘Conjuring Hands: The Art of Curious Women of Color’, by gloria j. wilson, Joni Body Acuff and Venessa Lopez
we crave joy. unmediated, defined by self, not by others.
for me, joy is intertwined with the idea of ‘safety’.
for me safety means not only protection from White hands that hold sticks, stones, batons, and guns.
but also safety from White minds and from White eyes.
in the past, in attempts at safety, i have resorted to running, literally and figuratively.
i fold in on myself to avoid harmful interactions. to keep myself safe.
i’m no longer prepared to relegate myself to the corner of the room. i go to the waters seeking guidance from the ancestors, seeking safety, seeking joy.
Living Wild Studios 