If we surrendered to earth’s intelligence we could rise up rooted, like trees.
—Rainer Maria Rilke
If we surrendered to earth’s intelligence we could rise up rooted, like trees.
—Rainer Maria Rilke
“Rest is a weapon.” – Jason Bourne
Rest is a gift. A gift I rarely give myself because I always have this feeling, this inch at the back of my head that I should be doing something, going somewhere, not wasting the day doing nothing.
But that’s it, rest is not doing nothing.
It’s been drummed into us that doing nothing is bad, that it’s laziness and will be our ruin.
Rest is not doing nothing. Rest is an active thing, for me. Rest is something I have to give myself permission to do. It’s something I have to let myself off the hook to do. I’ve got such high standards for myself, of myself and others that I’ve viewed rest as not being active and a negative thing to be doing. I’ve run from rest. I judged that rest is for the weak and I didn’t want to be associated with it.
But not anymore. I know slowing down and resting, putting my feet up, taking a break, unplugging and shutting my eyes, and taking slow deep breathes and doing absolutely nothing is powerful and needed and makes me stronger.
I get things done after a rest. I’m present after a rest. I can pay my projects, my people, myself more attention after rest.
Rest is a weapon; a powerful weapon which I keep in my arsenal at all times.
I’m currently on another social media hiatus.
After my last three months absence, from November 2018 – February 2019, while away I left Twitter and Facebook, I’ve been posting once or twice daily on both my Instagram accounts. I was posting about my #100daysprojects as well as my personal adventures into nature. Things were going well, but I knew a burnout was coming. I was being too prolific and focused. I knew, from experience, that I would run out of things to say. So I called the hiatus before that point, but by the time the end of April came along, I was ready to go.
I value the connections I’ve made through Instagram. I enjoy witnessing what others are doing. I take the time ad energy to cheer them along on their journeys. But at the same time, I’ve my issues with social media and these are what they are.
1. Social Media can be a distraction.
I find that social media can be noisy and distracting. So many people are doing or offering great things and telling everyone about it. And it can mean, I spend my time watching them instead of watching what I’m supposed to be doing. It’s just another way to procrastinate and take me out of my own creative flow.
2. Social Media can be damaging for the self-esteem.
I’m not stupid, and I know people post potted, designed versions of their lives and journeys but that doesn’t stop me from falling into the comparison trap. Sometimes, I see other people’s brightly photoshopped lives and feel paralysed. No amount of effort or time or talent could get me to this level, so why bother, I think. So I do nothing.
3. Social Media can be toxic.
I’ve met some good people on social media. Good people who now support me through Patreon, or through reading my writings and posts. But one reason I left Facebook was because of the negativity and arguments and harm that was showing up on my feed. There wasn’t much love coming my way or being circulated around. I saw a lot of hate and it was affecting me, physically and mentally. So I had to go for my own sanity and well-being.
4. Social Media is not the real world.
I know if you’re living far away from loved ones that social media is a great way to stay connected. With the photos posted you are able to ‘see’ them and feel as if you’re not missing out on their lives and happenings. But this isn’t the same as living in the real world. Nothing can beat having face to face contact with friends and family. And sometimes, we use social media as a substitute for making more of an effort to connect with our people physically.
5. Social Media is controlling our lives.
Being on social media takes time and effort. We post our loves and hates, we post our joys and worries, we post our dreams and successes. We invest a lot of our time and energy and love into platforms that are set up to leach our personal information and money. They profess to be fostering community but really they’re keeping us locked into the vicious cycle of being mindless consumers. Yes I’m still on Instagram and yes I know it’s owned by Facebook. But I’m looking for a way to leave all social media and still be connected with my peeps around the world. One possibliity is here, blogging and my website. I’m trying.
Now I think people are listening.
With the rise of Veganism for the sake of the environment, people taking notice of Extinction Rebellion Protests, and yet another damning UN report, there is no doubt that we, human beings as a species, are decimating all the other species on this planet as well as this planet herself, Earth.
A UN global assessment report which I read about in The Guardian today blatantly details how we are destroying nature at an alarming rate.
“The health of the ecosystems on which we and other species depend is deteriorating more rapidly than ever. We are eroding the very foundations of economies, livelihoods, food security, health and quality of life worldwide,” said Robert Watson, the chair of the Intergovernmental Science-Policy Platform on Biodiversity and Ecosystem Services (Ibpes). “We have lost time. We must act now.”
I’m hopeful that the situation is not too late. That we as a species start to listen to the warning signs and take action. Agriculture, agribusiness puts a huge toll on the environment from deforestation for grazing cattle, to methane release led into the atmosphere, to faeces run off into our water supply.
As the report states, ‘Meat and dairy production uses 83% of farmland and accounts for 58% of agricultural greenhouse gas emissions but only 18% of food calories.’ It doesn’t make sense to continue to eat meat and it’s by-products.
People are worried and taking action and want more action to be taken. Last week, the U.K. MPs endorsed a Labour motion to declare a formal climate and environment emergency. The Government is now commissioning independent reports on what can be done. I’m hopeful that this isn’t just hot air and a way to silence the protests.
But we can’t be silent as the time for action is now. Some say it’s already too late. That we’re fucked through our own selfish actions and greedy behaviours. But I’m hopeful we can make changes to our ways of living that will allow us; Earth and all her species to survive and thrive. We all have to change.
“Are we content to hand down a broken planet to our children? That is the question members must ask themselves today. We have the chance to act before it’s too late. It’s a chance that won’t be available to succeeding generations. It is our historic duty to take it.” Jeremy Corbyn
deep inside me –
touch it and
I rise at 6.30am on a promise. A promise to myself to take my medicine. My medicine is getting into the sea. And sometimes it is diffcult to take my medicine.
Day to day commitments, life just gets in the way. I allow other people’s wants and needs to get in the way.
It’s as if I don’t value my needs and wants. A great growing stone of guilt weighs upon me when I choose me over others. It isn’t the natural order of things. Self-love and self-care isn’t encouraged or promoted in the main, in the mainstream.
The sea makes me feel free. The sea releases me from real worries and cares. The sea connects me to my true me. After being with the sea, the rest of the day flows easier and with gratitude.
Really, it isn’t that difficult to get up and get into the sea, if I get out of my own way.
I have been a seeker
and I still am,
but I stopped
asking the books
and the stars.
I started listening
to the teaching
of my soul. – Rumi
Work in Progress
In 2015, when the shit hit the fan, I had to change. My whole life was in tatters and I had to find a way to live again. But live on my own terms. Live true to my soul.
For decades I’d been on the production trail. Do do do. Produce produce produce. Because I’d eventually I’d get to the promised land. I’d be successful, famous and accepted.
What I know now from having to start over is that there is no end point. There’s only the journey. I’m in a constant state of becoming. Becoming a better version of myself. But I will never be complete or perfect because that state just doesn’t exist. It’s a fallacy we’re fed to keep us keeping on. The desire or promise keeps us working with our heads down, selling out our souls for very little rewards. We think we are living the life we want to live but really, we’re living the life ‘they’ want us to live. The system, that is.
Now, I’m happy with less. Happy to work small. Happy with little ripples I create because I know in my heart that this is the authentic me at work. I know now, what I do, I do from the heart. I do in service to others with no expectations or need for anything in return. Living my life on my terms is my reward. And that’s enough. I’m enough just being me.
I’m a Black British artist. I’ve been involved in the union for artists in England. I’ve been involved in different exhibitions and events around the arts. What I know for sure is that the British art scene is elitist and exclusive.
I’m actively attempting through my own practice as well as research and reading to make visible the invisible; the invisible history of Black British art. For centuries, Black artists have been visible amongst themselves/ ourselves being involved in individual and collaborative projects. But within official records and archives, the Black presence remains little and absent.
Histories and lives and stories are missing within British arts from an African diaspora perspective and I hope through my creating and agitating and archiving I’m changing the narrative.
Through a series of posts I hope to explore the Black British art tradition to bring this rich and diverse and valuable history to light and more recognition. I look forward to sharing my findings with you.