atthecrossroadsofshouldandmust

ready to roar

| Sheree

iberated lines :: amplify :: day 5 #readytoroar

she’s been small and silenced and caged for so long that when everything crashes down around her, she is lost. she doesn’t know what to do or say or be.

scared of this nothingness and fearful of stepping into freedom, into the arena on her own terms; pure and clear and naked.

she curls into a tight ball, curls in on herself.

tight in her protective sphere, she hears her heart beating. knows she lives. she gives thanks. breath in breath out

away from the public glare, she starts to sense a fluttering in her core. a gentle coaxing of wings, caressing out waves of love for herself.

these feelings talk with her heart. small sounds. quiet whispers echoing through blood and bone and skin. there be singing. singing to herself of the trees and seas. singing with her shadows. singing through her shadows.

and through the process, she’s uncurling, unfolding until like the blousy blooms of peonies, she’s standing in her truth. beaming out her light; a beacon. a guide for others to see and to feel and to be.

#liberatedlinesamplify #readytoroar #atthecrossroadsofshouldandjust #hygge #alchemy #compassion #patience #water #authenticsheshe #beyourownbeloved

ready to roar

naming my bones

| Sheree

naming my bones

liberated lines:: amplify :: day 2 – Can you class teeth as bones? As when the North wind blows and gusts straight through me as if I am air, I smile. Later my teeth ache, like the cold has seeped into my teeth, into my bones.

The cold can nestle within my womb for days. I feel it bedding down. Not bothering to warm through. Instead content on chilling me from the inside out. Right through to the tips of my fingers and toes.

I look at my hands and wonder. You can have more than 206 bones, you know? Unnamed bones that develop in areas of friction and tension and stress.

I feel unnamed bones in the in the palms of my hands. Because I’ve always tried to please, giving away parts of myself in the hope of being validated and loved.

I feel unnamed bones in the soles of my feet. Because I’m trying to walk back to me now. Trying to get back to my whole self; the self who was lost behind masks others forced upon me and the ones I took up eagerly, if it meant I belonged.

Gut and bone and bleed. I name these as authentic me. Sinewy strong fibres knitted close together. Taking up the slack. Gut and bone and bleed. Lined up like rows of teeth, ready to do battle, ready to bear my soul. Gut and bone and bleed.
#liberatedlinesamplify #namingyourbones #authenticsheshe #alchemy #belovedbodypeace #hygge #practice #wildsoulwoman #voice #standinginmytruth #patience #compassion

there is darkness

| Sheree

there is darkness

liberated lines:: amplify :: day 1

There is a darkness … I am the mother who sleeps in late because I skywrite my intention days before. It’s Monday morning and I’m playing hooky from expectations. I scrunch my pillow up closer feeling into the silence of the house, holding my dreams of the day.
I am the tender of others even when alone. As I put the washing in, prepare the evening meal, wash the dishes, dry the dishes, turn the dishes over. I am a healer while still healing myself. But isn’t that always the way?
I am bed and pen and computer and toffee-nut coffee. I navigate the bends in the river, I want to say with grace. But I know with strength.
In the darkness, I bed down, make myself cosy as I know here, layers of self echo and shed, amplify and shimmer.
Right down to the bone and soul, there is alchemy with patience, alchemy with compassion. I am becoming, always becoming into my truth.

#liberatedlinesamplify #throughouttheday #hygge #alchemy #intothedarknight #compassion #patience #authenticsheshe #liberatedlines #belovedbodypeace #alchemy #atthecrossroadsofshouldandmust

Noctiluca

| Sheree

noctilucia

It was this Sea Goddess who called me to Malaga. SHE is Noctiluca, Malaga’s Phoenician Goddess. SHE stands on the promenade of Rincon de la Victoria gazing at the sea. We met today. SHE is helping me to reconnect with myself again. I thank HER.

#rewilding #atthecrossroadsofshouldandmust #seagoddess #malaga #noctiluca #beautywithin #soulfood

I’m the Obeah Woman

| Sheree

i am an obeah woman
I’m the Obeah woman from beneath the sea
To get to satan you gotta pass through me
‘Cause I know the angels name by name
I can eat thunder and drink the rain
Been through enough
Yeah they call me Nita and Pices too
There ain’t nothing that I can’t do
If I choose to, if you let me – Nina Simone

#rewilding #seagoddess #Nita #ocean #obeahwoman #priestess #atthecrossroadsofshouldandmust #mammy #pain #trauma #healing #listening #thecallofthewild #thecalling #whisperings #bleed #lifeanddeath #darkandlight #whole #heart #soulfood

Abundance

| Sheree

abundance

Today I appreciate abundance within my life. Today I take the time and space to rest and restore. It’s funny but I can take on life 100mph, feel the burn, bemoan the lack of time and energy for what I want to do but keep going. It’s only when I stop and breathe do I notice my aching throat, my throbbing hips and sprouting bunions.

Taking time today to rub (foot) butter into my feet and it feels like such a luxury when really it should be a necessity. A must.

I can hear the bells (here in Malaga). I’m not sure why they toll or why so often but I hear them. They give me pause. They make me pay attention and listen.

I’m listen to my heart and this quiet voice inside which is always whispering; what do you want to be? Who are you becoming?

These oranges grow in abundance along the streets in the centre of Malaga. I don’t get tired of looking up at them. Their colour, their richness and juiciness tantalise me.

They hang just out of reach just like my dreams. But that doesn’t stop me from trying to catch one or two.

#authenticsheshe #rewilding #permission #abundance #gratitude #atthecrossroadsofshouldandmust #honesty #dreams #becoming #stopanddrop #bunions

Malaga

| Sheree

malaga

So this happened to me today – Malaga. When a woman needs a rest, she can’t just go upstairs and lie down. No she’s got to get on a plane to southern Spain to feed her creativity, which has been banished for the last few months.

Ended up in a dive of a place I booked thru Airbnb – it was dirty and smelly. And there was a moment there when I was going to make do. I was thinking of ways to improve it – cleaning it, candles, new bedding would be a start.

Then I stopped myself; felt and knew I deserved better than this. I’m better than this.

I got back onto Airbnb and booked myself into a much nicer apartment. I’m not even thinking of the money, I’m thinking I must put my needs and wants first as no one else will. How could I relax if I was worried about what my skin came in contact with?

Now I’m settling in and letting myself put down my load. Not even the rain can dampen my mood.

I’ve never done this before. This blatant self-nurturing. This instinctive sense of doing the right thing by me.

I like it. I like it a lot.

#atthecrossroadsofshouldandmust #self-care #self-worth #enough #abundance #cleansheets #trust #intuition #listening #feeling #power #self-awareness #rewinding #authenticsheshe

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#atthecrossroadsofshouldandmust #self-care #self-w

Paying Attention

| Sheree

As I travel to work, again I am paying attention to my surroundings. Now it is the sea as I take the ferry across the Tyne, from one shields to the next. The light always makes me relax into the moment. It is ever changing as time passes. But then when I look down upon the water, I see patterns, I see movement, I see beauty.
I’m collecting images each journey. I’m doing the work and not looking back at what I’ve created. I’m saving that until I have more time and space to reflect and move the project forward somehow. At the moment, I’ve just capturing what I see. And this makes me happy. This brings me joy and the flutter of excitement in my gut. And that’s enough for now.