adventures

Hello, did you miss me?

| Sheree

Hello again. It’s April first. And I’m back. And after taking March off from posting here, I’m come to realise that I need this space, this digital, open notebook. This open notebook acts as a catch all space as well as a release of the pressure valve. Knowing I can come here and share anything, let off steam, muse, not even make sense or have the answers is something I’ve been taking for granted. Time away has given me a rest but also a renewed perspective and appreciation for this space, this blog, this notebook, this website. I can hang out here and be completely myself. Spaces and places like this are few and far between.

What makes this space cool also is you. You come here and read all about it. You’re part of the process. And I appreciate your eyes and hearts. Thank you for sticking with me. Thank you for being here. I’ll be honest with you though, from the get go, I didn’t get very far with the archives of this space. I’ve hardly touched the practice as I’ve been pulled elsewhere. But I’ll let you know what I’ve been up to by ad by. For now, I’m just marking my spot, putting down a marker that I have returned and with great joy.

I’ve got so many images to share with you as well as notes about my adventures and reading and thinking and dreaming. But all in good time. I don’t want to overload the senses straight away. Let’s just ease ourselves back into position. Take a look around and see if anything needs changing. I’ll be back daily during this month.

I’ve always loved April for creativity. Both my kids are April babies. The womb, my gut is the seat of your creativity, so let’s see what comes forth this April as I dive back into poetry reading and writing. I’m feeling the urge to write and I’ve got time on the horizon. I’m excited to see what occurs.

I hope you are sticking around to find out too.

Revision, Rewind, Recognise – Day 28

| Sheree

You said you would paint my nails. Red. Because red would looks good on my skin. Purple even. This man. You blew so much hot air up my arse I was floating. Floating on fucking air all the way down there. 260 miles. 260 miles of Soca hits, blaring out the mini speaker. Getting me in the mood to wind up my waist. I’ve never felt so much carnival in my blood. Jouvert, jumping up in the midnight light, throwing paint, bodies slick with sweat, couldn’t beat the heightened anticipation of our meet. Lips thick, juicy enough to suck on. Like pork belly off the bone. Thick and sweet. They could become addictive. If only you’d check your attitude. Rude. And you think you elevated. Wise beyond your years and I better listen. Educate. Please! You better check yourself because this arse is moving out faster than when I got here. As I recognise, you might not be so much one of those bots, but you sure can scam. Making out you’re the jealous type and now I’m off the market because I’m yours. Excuse me, but our time has to come to an end sooner than you might have been planning. You mighty fine, but I’ve seen your ugliness and I ain’t buying it no more. To think I wanted to suck on those lips for eternity. Fool that I am.

Noticeboard – What’s happening today?

| Sheree

Morning routine done. Still completing my rituals before I greet the world.

Decided to add 2 more to the list so I can complete some stuff I want and don’t want to do this month.

One is to continue to add to my wall for my fugitivity essay. Two, tackle one task per day for completion of my counselling skills course.

Guess which task is the one I don’t want to do?

Completed reading the ebook, In the Cut by Susanna Moore. And I’m not going to spoil it for you but I just didn’t see the ending coming. I was reading this after reading an article with Susanna Moore speaking with Allison P. Davis and it was exploring writing about sex and murder. Somethings I’m considering writing about. So I thought I better read the novel. Let’s just say it’s an interesting read and I think I was expecting more sex! Call me greedy!

Went out for a walk and was remembering my drive home yesterday in the sunshine. Reminded of how being with Kiwi, and our on adventures is my happy place. More!

Returned home and forgot to post some stuff so had to go back out. And Tynemouth is heaving today because the sun is out and it’s the weekend and it’s station market day. I tend to avoid the crowds at the coast and head in the opposite direction but today I did not mind the people as I felt like I belonged.

Not belonged here. But belonged within my body.

There’s a difference.

The End of 2024

| Sheree
Glencoe, December 2024

I’m choosing to end 2024 with gratitude. I’m choosing to give thanks for 2024 and to recognise the abundance.

Checking through my visual journals of the year and there is evidence of joy and creativity and love but there is also difficulty, scarcity and rage.

But here on the precipice of 2025, I’m choosing to focus on the present and the gifts that 2024 has given me.

In this moment, on New Year’s Eve, I am grateful to have returned to one of my favourite places in the world to bring in the New Year; Glencoe, the Scottish Highlands.

Etive, Glencoe, December 2024

Anyone following my blog from last year will know this is where I spent the New Year last/ this year, 2023 into 2024. My friend of old and I were booked into The Kinghouse Hotel here for their New Year’s celebration package. It was a luxurious affair and reminded me of a holiday camp as we were bombarded with activities, food and drink and entertainment for 4 days. And it snowed.

Alex and me, last year in Glencoe

This year there is no such luxury but that doesn’t take away from my joy and gratitude for being here now. I’m in Glencoe, for the first time, with Kiwi my campervan. This trip up in the wind and rain and dark is fulfilling a dream of mine. To park up for many nights in the shadow of my favourite mountain Etive.

Etive, Glencoe, December 2024

I’ve just been sitting in my van, watching the clouds roll over the peaks. I’ve totally slowed down and have finally started to appreciate the hibernation mode which started in November, with fits and starts as I kept getting disturbed.

I’m grateful that I have the privilege of being able to hibernate, to escape from the world of work and commitments to rest and dream. I’m tightening my belt, living frugally in certain ways, so I can have the next few months off work. Off the clock, off the colonial clock. Because I think, no I know, that 2024 burnt me out. Not just from the amount of work but also from the kind of work of was. I spent hours and energy supporting other people’s dreams in a system which doesn’t recognise our humanity never-mind our dreams. Daily I was going to battle, constantly having to repeat myself as well as explain and justify our existence and right to life/ work/ dreams/ success. It was tiring and demoralising and traumatic. It is only now that I can allow the sheer weight of it to fall away as I’ve been carrying it for a long time. And I’m tired.

So to be in the Highlands, on my own terms, in my own space, not having to see or talk or be with anyone else, is my happy place. And I’m grateful for it.

There is a severe weather warning up here. Edinburgh has cancelled its New Year celebrations because of this weather. High winds, rain, a lot of rain and maybe snow. For the last few nights, I’ve felt the wind and rain lash against Kiwi, we’ve been rocking and rolling but we’re safe and warm and I’m grateful for that.

I’m like in a little cocoon. I have everything I need to wait out the storm, two duvets and thermal clothing, water and food all help for which I am truly grateful. Because I’m living off grid as well as learning to live with less. And with that does come a lot of gratitude.

Inside Kiwi, van sounds

I recognise it in the food I prepare and eat here. Little plates of goodness which are simple but nourishing and enough.

Cooking inside the van

So as I plan to wave goodbye to 2024 and welcome in 2025, I’m cocooned within a circle of gratitude for what is now in the present moment. I’m warm and safe and have a feast for my eyes and tastes and soul to keep me satisfied. I’m very grateful to be able to continue to live out my dreams on my own terms. Thank you x