visual journaling

A Blazing Ascent

| Sheree

Happy New Year! Yes I know January 1st 2024 has come and gone. And yes I know it’s probably well past the time period to be wishing anyone, anywhere a happy new year. But I don’t care. This is when I’m coming back to the website, the blog, the public domain. March 2024.

I didn’t plan it as I didn’t think it would be possible this year what with my commitments all over the place but it does feel like that I’ve been on retreat for the last 3 months; the first 3 months of 2024. What with one thing or another; illness, lack of energy, lack of focus, lack of motivation, I’ve had to just ease myself into this year. And I still don’t feel that I’m fully present to this time period yet, but I’m getting there.

I had to intentionally put this into my to -do list today; to turn up here and write something. There’s been the lack of motivation and energy thing but there’s also been a block, or limitations I’ve been putting on myself in term of creating here or anywhere. I’ve been caught in a loop of asking myself, what have I got to say? What can I say as the world is falling apart? Nothing seemed/seems enough. I wasn’t good enough. So let’s stay hidden and quiet and safe, I convinced myself.

But there is only so long that I can live with myself doing/ being this/that. I was getting comfortable being uncomfortable or getting comfortable in numbing myself to the uncomfortable feelings as a means of getting by and through and over and under. To just breathe.

I return today simply to cross something off my to-do list. But in many ways it is so much more than just that. I’m back, I’m ascending out of the ashes into some kind of flame. Or at least the pilot light is back on in terms of writing/ being here/ turning up.

One thing that has been on a constant burn, a low humming of heat over these last 4 or 5 months has been my visual journaling practice. The image above was created today at my table in the corner of my bedroom where I’ve gotten into the habit of turning up daily just to see what wants to appear. I’ve been listening to the ancestors, the guides who want to speak. I’ve been enjoying the process.

I’ll be sharing some more visual journal spreads in the coming days as well as curating a new portfolio to archive them all in one place as if I don’t archive my creative practice, who else will?

But more to come. I’m just happy to be back here.

I’m loving on this space/place/me

| Sheree
The new visual journal

I’m sharing this spread created this morning because I’m channeling the love. The love on self. In all my fucked up glory. There is beauty in the messy. Ugly and sweet. And that’s the way it goes ( Janet Jackson style!).

A new beginning

| Sheree
New visual journal

Today I took my time. I had a lie in. Got up grabbed a coffee and went back to bed with my new journal.

There was the bubbling of excitement as well as fear. I’ve been preparing this new journal for the past week and it was time to begin.

I’m reminded of the Henry David Thoreau Quote: “There is no beginning too small.” 

So I took my time. Took inspiration from the colours on the page and started mining magazines for images and text. I ripped out whole pages knowing I’d come back in and cut out the details, the inspiration.

I spent about an hour cutting and pasting. Spreading out across the colourful pages. 

The last spread of sticking I did in the picture above. Once this was complete, I had to leave it to complete some chores. It was an hour before I returned with another coffee and this time ready to write.

I wrote about beginning again. The newness of a new journal. The possibilities. How my energy needed a shift hence the new journal and starting it this morning as I go on retreat; away from the world to create, to be and to rest.

I thought it fitting that this day should be marked with a new visual journal, with a new beginning as I’m excited about going away and being away from all the distractions and noise and demands which have been dominating my life of late.

I’m grateful for the time, space and means to take off from my life for a week and be inspired within the cradle of mountains.

I do not set out to create anything beautiful with my visual journal practice. The purpose is always to be present within the process. But there are sometimes when I look at a finished pages ( I don’t think it is ever finished as I always return to continue the conversation with myself) and they bring a smile to myself as they stand in for all the emotions and thoughts and dreams that surfaced during the time with the page.

I wonder, and wonder, and wonder what can be explored and shared when I lean into my interdisciplinary practice. I wonder.

Preparing for the next chapter

| Sheree
New visual journal

Sometimes, I can feel my energy stagnating. Or being leeched away into activities, projects or circumstances that I want to be in but which if I allow it take me away from what is important to me.

I do great work and I enjoy facilitating/ creating/ coordinating it. Changing lives and bringing joy and opportunities to others, for others.

But sometimes, I have to strengthen my boundaries and batter down the hatches in order to make sure I can show up the best version of myself for myself and others.

The last couple of weeks have found me running low on energy, patience and creativity. I’ve been giving away a lot of myself, time and energy, and focus.

So the next chapter to the end of 2023, is focused on me taking back what’s mine. Taking back my time, my energy, my sparks and directing them in the directions that feed my soul. Which fuels my dreams and confidence in my voice.

And it starts with preparing my next visual journal. I’ve returned to a trusty old faithful. A pink pig sketchbook. And I’ve set up on my kitchen bench with paints and the gift card.

Every time I go into the kitchen, I create a spread. I smear drops of paint across the page with the disused credit card. I can feel my energy, my excitement and joy rising.

This simple act of moving colour across the page fills me with joy, wonder and ideas. My creativity has been lit up again and I’m looking forward to filling these pages.

Looking forward to dreaming on paper.

New visual journal