SLOW

A Blazing Ascent

| Sheree

Happy New Year! Yes I know January 1st 2024 has come and gone. And yes I know it’s probably well past the time period to be wishing anyone, anywhere a happy new year. But I don’t care. This is when I’m coming back to the website, the blog, the public domain. March 2024.

I didn’t plan it as I didn’t think it would be possible this year what with my commitments all over the place but it does feel like that I’ve been on retreat for the last 3 months; the first 3 months of 2024. What with one thing or another; illness, lack of energy, lack of focus, lack of motivation, I’ve had to just ease myself into this year. And I still don’t feel that I’m fully present to this time period yet, but I’m getting there.

I had to intentionally put this into my to -do list today; to turn up here and write something. There’s been the lack of motivation and energy thing but there’s also been a block, or limitations I’ve been putting on myself in term of creating here or anywhere. I’ve been caught in a loop of asking myself, what have I got to say? What can I say as the world is falling apart? Nothing seemed/seems enough. I wasn’t good enough. So let’s stay hidden and quiet and safe, I convinced myself.

But there is only so long that I can live with myself doing/ being this/that. I was getting comfortable being uncomfortable or getting comfortable in numbing myself to the uncomfortable feelings as a means of getting by and through and over and under. To just breathe.

I return today simply to cross something off my to-do list. But in many ways it is so much more than just that. I’m back, I’m ascending out of the ashes into some kind of flame. Or at least the pilot light is back on in terms of writing/ being here/ turning up.

One thing that has been on a constant burn, a low humming of heat over these last 4 or 5 months has been my visual journaling practice. The image above was created today at my table in the corner of my bedroom where I’ve gotten into the habit of turning up daily just to see what wants to appear. I’ve been listening to the ancestors, the guides who want to speak. I’ve been enjoying the process.

I’ll be sharing some more visual journal spreads in the coming days as well as curating a new portfolio to archive them all in one place as if I don’t archive my creative practice, who else will?

But more to come. I’m just happy to be back here.

Feeling grateful today for …

| Sheree
The Healing Properties of the Seas ( again), Whitley Bay, Thursday 4 May 2023, 11.45am

the space to breathe. Breath in and breath out.

the energy to move my body in order to gain more energy.

my scarf, hat and gloves and coat.

the money in my pocket to buy a to coffee

the sea, the waves, the seagulls, the rocks; my kin

Poem A Day – Reflections

| Sheree
New Visual Journal for May

April was National Poetry Month in the States. I attempted to complete and share a poem a day for the month.

On the whole, I just missed a few days towards the end of the month. Things went a bit off the boil, when things got a bit busy. What with birthday celebrations and friends visiting, my attentions were distracted and my energy levels were depleted.

But hey 20+ new poems which didn’t exist before this month is always a win in my book. I feel when I do these challenges, what I produce is hit and miss. Because of the necessity of creating something everyday, the time needed to go deep into a subject or issue is lacking. Surface shenanigans are usually the case.

Speed is needed rather than depth. But now, as May rolls along there is time to revisit and redraft and build upon what is already there.

It’s time to slow down the poetry creation process and spend some quality time going deep. Do some more research, collect some more stories and facts as inspiration and see what happens from there. Let the poems sit and fester and start to speak for themselves.

My poetry writing muscles have been flexed and they’re primed to continue lifting heavier weights of meaning and impact now.

I’m looking forward to see which pieces develop, which ones will fall by the way side and which ones will become pure steel.

Spring Blossoms

| Sheree

I’m not sure when my love affair with cherry blossom came into being. I’m not sure where I was when my heart began to swell at the mere beginning buds of cherry blossom on the trees. Bradford, where I was born and stayed until I was 10? Or Newcastle, where I enjoyed my formative years before escaping to London for my degree?

I’m not really sure when or where my deep appreciation and joy at seeing these puff balls of pinks or white or cerise came to be part of my being. I just know that I experience a child-like delight when I come across a tree in full cherry blossom bloom. My heart skips a beat and I’m jumping with glee, inside and outside, when cherry blossom comes into view. And the blossom is never here long enough for my liking.

Using the delicate pinks of cherry blossom, collaging with the images of cherry blossom in my visual journal, is my way of keeping the blooms alive, in my eyes and in my heart. Not just the sight of cherry blossom in my journal keeps these fragile blooms alive, but the feelings of joy and delight that they bring to my heart is kept alive too.

I created a special spread of cherry blossom for the BALTIC commission last year, that ended up being blown up from an A3 spread in a journal to an A0 poster size on a gallery space wall. In the middle of that spread is a Black woman smiling, almost dancing between the blossom, exuberating lush joy. This is me sharing my jubilation and love of cherry blossom with others.

This is my love letter to cherry blossom as well as giving thanks for the beauty of nature and how we are connected. How we are one.

Another Day Another Spread

| Sheree
Visual Journaling Spread

It’s the afternoon. And I’ve just finished another visual journaling spread. I might have been up at 7.30 and came to the page but again, remembering yesterday, I’m here to slow down. I’m here to savour these moments of light and joy.

I might have even shifted rooms in the process, moved from the bed to the couch. Exposure to more light and more bird sounds. Seagulls squawking and trees budding casting shadows on the living room floor.

The energies are quickening. There’s a fizzing of excitement in my stomach, my core. Who know’s what the day will bring?

The day has already gifted me time and space and colour and light and an immense feeling of peacefulness. Mindfulness. Kindness. Thank you.

Shifting Energies

| Sheree

Last month this was my practice.

Stone Paper Journal, Paperchase

Straight forward writing on lined paper with a sticker here and there. I felt the need to get things out of me. I felt the need to get distractions out of the way and write from the heart.

Each day I turned up and completed three pages of long hand writing. Some days more. There was an outpouring. Leaning back into Julia Cameron’s Morning Pages helped.

This morning, the first day of April, this happened.

Altered book journal spread

My energies shifted. I wasn’t feeling the lined pages, black ink journaling this morning. I was feeling the need to slow down and wait for the paint to dry kind of feeling.

Yes Spring is here. And I’m embarking on a poetry challenge as well as my travels. But my body is saying there is wisdom to be gleamed if you take the time and space, now this morning, to slow down and listen.

So I listened. I have to slow down as I cover one page/ one spread at a time with paint to conceal the text underneath. Maybe still bleeding through in parts.

Altered book journal spreading drying!

While I wait for the paint to dry, I search for inspiration in images and texts. I don’t have any agenda and I don’t feel any frenzied feelings to get this done and done quick.

I’m taking my time because I have time to slow down, breathe, enjoying the grey light, the sweet vanilla latte, the birds making nests.

Thoughts come and go. Fleeting. And I don’t worry. If I need to capture them, they’ll come back around. The hairs on my forearm feel the draught coming in through the open curtains. Or is it from the open window in the kitchen?

My forefinger twists strands of hair into locks as I flick through a magazine, looking for images, text and colour. I take another sip of coffee, now cold because time has been slipping by.

Not away. As time spent in my creative process is time needed not wasted. It’s time I’m grateful for. But I can only mark this time, this gratitude, these feelings and sensations, when I slow down and be present.

Visual journaling, altered book or not, gifts me the luxury, no the necessity, of slowing down and {BEING}. Thank you x