“He knew exactly what she meant: to get to a place where you could love anything you chose — not to need permission for desire — well now, that was freedom.”
Toni Morrison in Beloved (1987), pg. 191
Self-Portraiture – Day 5
self-love
Self-Portraiture – Day 4
“Remember the earth whose skin you are: / red earth, black earth, yellow earth, white earth / brown earth, we are earth.”
Joy Harjo
Self-Portraiture – Day 3
May our collective belonging weave a wide net of compassionate care, soft and strong
@CollectiveBelonging
enough to hold us all.
Self-Portraiture – Day 2
“My body is an argument I did not start,”
Morgan Parker
Self-Portraiture – Day 1
The weight of our darkness, stress, and anxiety can sometimes overpower us—but in our heavy moments, it’s crucial to remember that our worthiness remains intact, even when we falter.
Alex Elle
Seeing Myself
When times have been tough in the past and I’ve been way down on myself, I’ve adopted a practice which has seen me through, which has allowed me to see myself again with grace and compassion and love. Some people might call them selfies but me I call it self-portraiture.
For the next five days, I’ll be sharing images I’ve taken of myself over the last few months while in hibernation as a means of support to get me back to myself. And it’s a process, a never ending process of becoming but I’m here documenting it, allowing it to be seen because that’s part of the process also. Being seen on my one terms.
Gratitude for my body
I’ve spent decades hating on my body.
Too big, too fat, too black for most spaces, places, people. So I thought or was lead to believe.
I’ve spent decades trying to get rid of my body.
Make it smaller, make it thinner, make it whiter. All the time knowing I was wasting my time, energy and money. But that didn’t stop me.
I was hard wired into chasing the perfect body, the ideal standard of beauty. Which just wasn’t me and my body.
Slowly, with care, self-love, mindset changes and practice, I’m learning to appreciate my body and all the spaces and places and people she takes me.
Through my body I get to experience this world and all its terrible beauty. And right now, as that’s all we can depend on/ should focus on/ breathe into, I’m loving on my body from the inside out.
I’m offering her grace and compassion as she continues to move me through this world. Allowing me to be here, {being} myself in all my fucked up glory.
And isn’t that fucking awesome!
Today my body walked me into the sea to remind me to feel again. To remind me I’m alive again. To remind me that we are only here for a short, brief time so shouldn’t we try to squeeze all the feels, sweet and not so sweet, out of it while we’re here?
My body supports me in this mission.
Every. Single. Moment.
Thank you x
End of June Reflections
How do you practice self-care?
As we near the end of June, I near the end of my current visual journal. This beauty has seen me through some ups and downs these past two months, as I’ve navigated major life changes and shifts.
Being able to keep coming back to the page in order to work out my shit, my internal shit, before I meet all the external shit is a gift. Is a massive gift I take for myself in the name of self-care.
Before visual journaling came along, I did keep a journal but it was maybe a lined notebook sometimes plain paper and pen. Simple and effective and got me through a lot of life’s changes.
But when 2015 came along and my life changed forever, words on the plain page would never be enough again. Could never be enough to express all the turbulence and upheavals within my life. I needed more and I also needed to feel safe.
So paints and images and quotes and collage and photography and text came together, merged and played off of one another to provide the time and space and safety I needed to have an ongoing, developing and becoming conversation with myself.
I feel blessed now to know I get to do this / {BE} this daily. I give myself the opportunity to get off this merry-go-round of life and take deeper breaths, while being in communion with myself, checking in on myself, making sure I’m okay and if not what I need to do in order to get back to being okay. But all in good time and a few visual journal spreads later.
This is one of my self-care practices which I am truly grateful for.
I’ll be sharing some more spreads, images and reflections on this process over the summer as this practice is multifaceted in terms of all the goodness of offers me. I gain insight, clarity and love in the present moment of the practice. But I also gain a lot of joy in the looking back over pages, reliving the feelings within my body of the practice. I also gain pleasure from sharing this practice with others.
Check out further posts to come.
Not quite wild yet
The heat has been on for the last week or so and then today a downpour that didn’t seem to want to stop. But it was needed. There needs to be some kind of release.
I’m in the thick of organising house moves and exhibitions and lectures and just writing them gives me a headache never mind completing it all. And complete it I will do as that’s what I do. But at what cost to my health and sanity?
Today I’m resting for some and then doing/ working for some. Breaking up the rests with work instead of the other way around. And it’s working. I feel better, lighter and more productive but never doing more than I can handle.
I have loose ends that need to be tied up which are sapping my energy but some things are just out of my control. So I’m sitting with these uncomfortable feelings trusting in the ancients that they will allow things to turn out for the best for me.
I have to believe it when I get lost in the mix or start to doubt the path I’m on. That the universe has my back. That these things happen for a reason. I just wish sometimes things where a bit easier for me.
Living Wild Studios 