“We are not the idea of us, not even the idea that we hold of us. We are us, multiple and varied, becoming. The heterogeneity of us. Blackness in a Black world is everything, which means that it gets to be freed from being any one thing. We are ordinary beauty, Black people, and beauty must be allowed to do its beautiful work.” Kevin Quashie describes in Black Aliveness, or, A Black Poetics of Being.
Sometimes we can be our worst enemy. Sometimes we allow thoughts and feelings to invade our calm, our peace. Why?
Something I fail to understand or have a handle on. All I can do is practice. Have faith and trust.
So this little list of gratitude is practiced with the intention of appreciating what is right in front of me instead of skipping to the end and getting all the wires and paths crossed.
Today I am grateful for rest.
Today I am grateful for coffee.
Today I am grateful for the page and pen.
Today I am grateful for the time and space to commune with myself.
Today I am grateful for hot buttered toast.
Today I am grateful for the music.
Today I am grateful for the dawn chorus.
Today I am grateful for the sea.
Today I am grateful for the earth.
Today I am grateful for the light.
Today I am grateful to love and be loved.
(Speaking about Robert Lowell’s poetry) “Lowell removes the mask. His speaker is unequivocally himself, and it is hard not to think of Life Studies as a series of personal confidences, rather shameful, that one is honor-bound not to reveal.”
M. L. Rosenthal’s article “Poetry as Confession.”
I’m taking a four week confessional poetry course with midnight & indigo. Founded in 2018, midnight & indigo is a small publisher and literary journal that provides a space for Black women writers to share their narratives with the world.
Tw weeks in and I’m loving the course, Tell Me Something Real: How to Write Confessional Poetry. Not only is the tutor, Schyler Butler knowledgeable, and thorough providing great examples for poetry within this genre all from Black women, but the group of writers signed up for the course bring it every week with their insight and feelings around each poem we read and discuss.
And then we get to trial out what we’ve learnt through these close writings within our own writing, as the sessions finishes with time to write a first draft of a poem and then share it with the group. I’m enjoying what I’m coming up with after being inspired. Because in all honesty, from time I’ve been a confessional poet but have never smashed the term on it.
Confessional poetry in essence can be distilled to 4 main components.
I’m working on a new body of work now. So still in the draft stage but I’ll share a poem from time here, as evidence of my appreciation and dance with this form of poetry.
White Women
Within my family, there are white women.
White women who married black men. I forget,
neglect the fact that their blood flows through mine.
Trace the past, a sea of faceless white is mine.
The black men forefront, a mist of women
behind. Their names, I don’t know or forget.
They are the enigma, shadows. Forget
the cleaning and cooking, their duty and mine,
they went against the grain, steadfast women.
In the corner of the frame, you white women
are not forgotten. Your spirit is mine.
Family Album, 2011
When life throws you curve balls to knock you off your feet and forces you to reassess everything in your life, this is when you lean into the practices which have seen you right.
Those practices which keep you buoyed when it appears you’re drowning or about to go down.
Those practice which you practice everyday but really come into their own when the chips our down.
One of those practices is keeping a gratitude journal. And it doesn’t have to be something major or time consuming.
Thinking on one simple thing is enough to switch my thinking, to get me to count my blessings and step up again. Renewed, restored and ready.
This week has been a week of happenings and announcements and shit hit the fan moments. But I’m alive and here to live another day. So all is not bad.
I’m a firm believer that things happen for a reason. Maybe to test us. Maybe to move us into a better situation. To gain clarity and perspective. To live a better life on my own terms.
This card ‘thunderstorm’ signifies tremendous upheaval and change, happening or about to. And it is out of my control. But I must keep the faith, trust in Mother Nature that these things are happening for the best.
Things are out of my control. But how I respond to this period of upheaval is within my control.
I’m choosing to count my blessings, lean into my practices and give thanks. Give thanks for all that is going right or is good in my life right now. Here and now.
I’m grateful for the light. I’m grateful for rest. I’m grateful for a warm comfortable bed. I’m grateful for morning coffee. I’m grateful for time spent with the people I love. I’m grateful for my health. I’m grateful for my creativity. I’m grateful for all the opportunities which have and are coming my way. I’m grateful for food in the cupboards. I’m grateful for the roof above my head. I’m grateful for the air I breathe. I’m grateful for the earth between my toes. And I’m grateful for the water that holds me.
dark morels
clustering
against roots
of ash trees
moist
in gathering dark
night air leaning
into a textured silence
well-earned through
a receding wall of trees
I have a little series of poems inspired by fungi: mushrooms, toadstools and the like.
I’ve always enjoyed looking at pictures of fungi. I’d draw them from books and colour then in with coloured pencils. I started a collection of them, when a child. In real life, I’m not too sure, I like fungi up close. I think something the way they feel puts me off. And that they are alive!
Also the idea of spores frighten me. Obviously, the fear comes from a lack of understanding and knowledge about them.
What I do know is that they are vital to life. And that whole underground system they have going on of passing nutrients and messages between plants and ecosystems and other organisms is truly remarkable. And has to be respected.
Anyway, I was thinking of pulling these fungi poems together into a mushroom zine. I do love my zines. What do you think?
Of course I have to find the time to create it. But now I’ve stated it here, it lends some kind of accountability to completing the task.
Anyway, above is a brief extract from one of the poems. I think I have about 5 or 6 of them. So I’ll keep working on them and start thinking of some cool design to go with them.
Of course being here now, saying all this, is me thinking out loud. Making some kind of commitment to a dream and making steps to seeing it through.
I’l share some more of the poem in the next post.
The Natural world – from the heavens to our gardens – has so much to give and to teach us
I just manage to get this note in under the wire as today still is in the month of April. But this month has been a busy one. If not being away dog and house sitting then one of birthday celebrations, as both my babies were born in April. I have also been trying to crack on with a commissioned essay, and managed to present something decent at the final event in connection to my exhibition at the BALTIC.
Coming out of my hibernation into a full on month has had its trials and tribulations. But I know what has kept me on the straight and narrow and mostly full of joy has been my connection with nature.
I missed the sea at the beginning of the month, because I was land locked. But this was an ideal time to appreciate the blossom. Cherry blossom, apple blossom, plum blossom, pear.
I’ve always loved on blossom. The blousy pink and white blooms, just fill me with joy and gratitude. I’ve been putting myself in the path of beauty as Cheryl Strayed would argue. Then once I returned back to the North-East it was time to reacclimatise with the sea after an almost three week break. And it was painful. But I needed to get back in, to get close with her, and remind myself that I am alive. And this life is a gift. The sea, along with nature as a whole, is my medicine. And I feel it deep when I am not taking my medicine, through choice, circumstances or self-neglect.
Nature is always there for me when I’m in need or guidance. And I’m grateful for this connection. Even while I worry that we are losing more and more species and ecosystems, I keep faith and hope that we can work together to recognise and reconnect with ourselves, each other and nature to bring about systematic change to benefit all species, and the generations to come. Even in the little ways we show up for nature all count in the grand scheme of things, I think. This is why I’m excited about
🌳 The Rise Up Rooted Global Wellness Symposium 🌳
Join me on May 15th and let the Natural world lead you back home to yourself!
🌳 The Rise Up Rooted Global Wellness Symposium 🌳
Reconnect with the Earth, Reawaken Your True Nature, and Rewild Your Busy Life!
EVENT AIRS: Monday – Friday, May 15 – 19, 2023
Click here to join now for FREE!
I’m delighted to be a featured speaker at this free global event, created by my friend Alex Strauss to serve busy people all over the world. The 5-Day Rise Up Rooted Global Wellness Symposium, May 15 – 19, is your invitation to devote a few quiet minutes each day to your own well-being. I’ll be sharing more about my connection with nature and how she helped me fall in love with myself and others as part of a panel of 20+ featured speakers. From these authors, coaches, speakers, physicians, teachers, and healers, you’ll learn practical ways to…
and so much more!
CLICK HERE to RSVP for this free event. When you register, you’ll be notified when my interview and other speakers’ interviews are available to watch.
This isn’t like any nature-focused event you’ve seen before. During this five-day journey, you’ll learn not only WHY we all need more Nature now, but also HOW to integrate more Nature into your daily life, and exactly WHAT to do when you you do get outside.
Note: This event was created for busy people. None of these pre-recorded interviews are longer than 45 minutes, so it’s easy to watch or listen during the day, whenever it’s convenient for YOU!
I really hope you’ll decide to invest a few hours between May 15 and May 19 with me and the other speakers. I know you will come away renewed, recharged, reconnected, and ready to tackle whatever comes next!
I hope to see you there!
Sheree x
PS – Don’t worry if your bare feet haven’t touched the Earth for months or you’re not a gardener. The Rise Up Rooted Global Wellness Symposium is NOT about any one way to connect with the Earth. Instead, it’s about simple, practical steps we can all take in our day-to-day lives to be healthier, happier, and more peaceful in body and mind. (Some of them can even happen while you sleep!) CLICK HERE to RSVP now.
Let’s say you find yourself going down to the sea shore each day. Each day you’re there at a different time. At the sea shore, you find the space to let go, to surrender yourself to the moment.
The sea pulls you like a magnet, a magnet you cannot resists or pull away from even if you tried. And you don’t try because you feel as the light touches each crest of wave, rolling them with gold that your soul is fed love.
Let’s say, along the sea shore, you also take off your shoes to get closer. You might feel the damp sand between your toes. You might also feel the cold bitter water tingling your toes. You prefer the warmth yet you move further into the ebb and flow. You allow your ankles to be caressed. You allow your flesh to moan.
As I mentioned earlier in the month, reading and writing/ writing and reading go hand in hand. As I’ve tasked myself with a poem a day this month, I’ve also tasked myself with reading poetry and wider as it all feeds into the creative process.
Dal Kular, a dear friend and awesome imagineer, brought Foluke Taylor and their writings to my attention. I’ve been taken by Foluke’s writing around creativity and repetition so when Dal mentioned the book, Unruly Therapeutic, I knew I had to pick this book up and read it. And I’m so glad I have done just that ( well still reading it in fact!).
This is a hybrid, break down the structures kind of book in terms of how it’s written but also how it centres the Black woman’s experience. It’s music to my ears on so many levels. More so in being real, and allowing the thoughts and concepts presented to meander. To double back and repeat. There’s even a music playlist at the end go each chapter as an indication of what Foluke was listening to while the book was under construction.
I’ll return here with a review of length, but for now I just wanted to mark the reading of this text and a recommendation to get out and buy your own copy, as I’m not lending mine out!
If I was following the book along meticulous, then I’d be starting week 4, of the Julia Cameron book, Write for Life. But hey life gets in the way and SLOW is my mantra. I wouldn’t be digging deep if I was to rush through this text as it’s like mining gold really, there are gems everywhere.
What I’m reading is speaking to my soul. I mean receiving reminders that my best writing, the only good writing comes from being vulnerable. Which means I have to lead the own with my heart, through by heart, by my heart. Otherwise, it would be false, untrue, and boring.
Being vulnerable is my strength. It’s one of my superpowers!( You see what I did there, right? I said ‘one of’. Because I have many superpowers).
Being vulnerable on the page means writing what disturbs me, what fills me with fear and what I’m unwilling to say but will share it anyway.
Being vulnerable means being willing to spilt myself open again and again on the page as Natalie Goldberg says. Because then I’m being honest, daring and authentic. Writing how I really feel opens myself up to myself.
I might be behind in the book reading, but I’m not behind in terms of being vulnerable and writing from the heart. And this means I have to be patience with myself and tender. As writing with heart is a tender way of being. And takes care, attention and love.
Living Wild Studios 