challenge

Flaneuse – 4/30

| Sheree

Out walking earlier than anticipated today, due to other commitments, the sky was blue and the sun was shining. I felt like I was walking taller, feeling the benefits of the practice, spine straighter. Also I was noticing more, being aware of my surroundings. Flowers, leaves and berries.

Blackberries take me back to childhood and going blackberry picking with friends. But never managing to reach home with any of our harvest as I would always eat them beforehand. Not today, came home with a cup full as well as a few scratches along my arms and plan to make a coulis with them. Of course some blackberries didn’t make it home as I had to test their sweetness mid-pick. Juicy loveliness worth the scratches.

Flaneuse – 2/30

| Sheree

I walk and think. Sometimes about my worries and concerns. Sometimes about my day ahead. But always, after a while, I get to the point where I’m not thinking or analysing . I’m being in the walking. I’m present in the rhythm of putting one foot in front of another. My projections of self fall away and I’m just a body in motion. Here. #wewalk

A month in ( nearly) of the new 100 day project and this is what I want

| Sheree

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At the beginning of August I started my third and final #100daysproject of 2019.
I started 2019, painting 100, A3 sized abstracts. Then come April when the official #the100dayproject took place, I jumped on board with painting and drawing Black women’s faces and bodies. I’ve found these practices challenging at times, especially when I’ve been traveling and had a shortage of time. But the flip side has been such a overflowing pot of creativity which has had a knock on effect with my writing and general outlook. 
Now nearly 30 days into photographing my golden goddess statue, I‘m figuring out how this practice works in anchoring as well as inspiring me. 
With these 100 days, I‘m carrying my beautiful goddess statue out into nature and taking instant photographs of her there. I’m using her as a surrogate for my own body in nature. She takes up space so confidently and with such a ‘don’t care less’ attitude, that her essence is rubbing off onto me. 
How she behaves and holds herself is how I want to behave all the time when I’m out there in society, hustling and getting by. I want to have her self-confidence and self-awareness and magnitude. She is badass but so gracious with it. To have what she has, to be so in love with self and grateful for it is how I want to live my life. 
Hopefully, from the practice and folllowing the goddess‘s lead, I could get there, well slightly there, over the next 100 days.
We’ll see.

Writing and not writing: breaking through the trust

| Sheree

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I’m not writing.
Writing that sentence makes me feel a whole lot better. I’m a writer who’s not writing. I know it happens to us all so I’m trying to be gentle with myself. It’s the summer holidays and my routine has gone to pop and I’m okay with that, I think. But there’s still a part of me who’s thinking I’m a fraud because I’m not writing. I’m even finding it hard to fill a page while doing my morning pages. I blame routine but I know it’s because I’m tired and I’m not allowing myself that much needed rest because I think I should be writing and doing( project related stuff).
Read the rest of the essay over on my Patreon Page.

Best of the Net 2019

| Sheree

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While away from here, I received some good news that really reaffirmed my decision to pick up the pen again and write the way I want to write.
The lovely Annest Gwilym over at Nine Muses Poetry has nominated one of my poems for Best of the Net 2019 award.
Check out the poem which has been nominated ‘The Last Black Women’ here.
And I’m not fake bragging here but I’m just honoured to be nominated as this was unexpected and Annest had over 400 poems to choose from to come up with a short list of just 6 poems.
This nomination means such a great deal as there was a time that I wasn’t going to write, submit or share my writing again. I’m glad I decided to reverse this decision because all I was doing was denying myself a whole heap of healing and pleasure by not creating. I’m grateful for this recognition.

Day 2 – 100 Days of The Goddess and Love

| Sheree

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Posted Instagram today : 2/100 – Private Farm, Brattleby, Lincolnshire
I wrote in my morning pages today: I want to be debt free in so many meanings of the word. I want to be able to eat and eat healthily. I want to be able to love my body now. Love how my body serves me now so I no longer abuse her and I’m not waiting for the weight to drop off before I love her. #100daysofthegoddessandlove #100daysproject #the100dayproject #blackwomenmatter #blackwomensbodies #selfcare #selflove #healthyatanysize #creativepractice #blackbodiesinnature #brownbodiesinnature #womenscreativity #womensempowerment #instax90 #instaxmini90neoclassic #photography #bodylove #goldengoddess #darkgoddess #mothernature #earthgoddess #goddess

Wow – time flies!

| Sheree

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I come here today not realising how long ago I was here. It’s been ages since I’ve posted anything, updated the website etc. My head has been down. July saw me trying to get through the last days of the school term before the holidays. And then the holidays come and all I want to do is rest.
But have I got to that stage of rest yet when I let all of my load down? I’m not sure I even know what that state is never mind feels like, as I’m always carrying around something; some project, some event, some concern. So is life and I accept it rather than spend time and energy trying to run from it.
Anyway, August is here and I’ve feeling the moving at a slower pace. The sharp angles at the edge of my consciousness have softened and become hazy in a sense as they lose focus and I become more present in my here and now and relax. I realise I have some time now to focus on me, my passions and my desires, those things that make me sing from the inside out.
I’ve started my third #100daysproject over on Instagram and it’s all about the goddess and love. #100daysofthegoddessandlove.
I’ll be sharing come creations here too but initially it’s all about black bodies in nature, my body in nature and how I use a surrogate of a golden goddess statue to go places I might feel I don’t belong or won’t be welcomed. She’s pushing me into places where I might fear to go in both internal and external landscapes. I’m excited to see where she takes me. More to follow on this project in time.
For now, I’m off to enjoy these long lazy days of summer and hope to pop back here more regularly as I shift my focus and attention towards my joys and passions. Happy summer.

Rest is a weapon

| Sheree

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“Rest is a weapon.” – Jason Bourne

Rest is a gift. A gift I rarely give myself because I always have this feeling, this inch at the back of my head that I should be doing something, going somewhere, not wasting the day doing nothing.

But that’s it, rest is not doing nothing.
It’s been drummed into us that doing nothing is bad, that it’s laziness and will be our ruin.
Rest is not doing nothing. Rest is an active thing, for me. Rest is something I have to give myself permission to do. It’s something I have to let myself off the hook to do. I’ve got such high standards for myself, of myself and others that I’ve viewed rest as not being active and a negative thing to be doing. I’ve run from rest. I judged that rest is for the weak and I didn’t want to be associated with it.
But not anymore. I know slowing down and resting, putting my feet up, taking a break, unplugging and shutting my eyes, and taking slow deep breathes and doing absolutely nothing is powerful and needed and makes me stronger.
I get things done after a rest. I’m present after a rest. I can pay my projects, my people, myself more attention after rest.

Rest is a weapon; a powerful weapon which I keep in my arsenal at all times.